How to Stop Chasing Rainbows

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All too often we see in media, and especially advertising, a certain rubric. There are crowds of happy, smiling, people, overjoyed with the life-changing results they have gotten from a certain diet, health and fitness program, or piece of exercise equipment

These messages appeal to anyone who seeks feelings of happiness and well-being. That would probably include most of us.

The problem here is that the promises of results that bring happiness do not refer to any of the potential angst, failures, negative responses, or challenges that invariably come along when we try to make changes to get healthier.

In other words, we are often encouraged to chase rainbows, while not being given any indication of what might happen along the way.

The Pleasures of Hedonic vs. Eudaimonic Activities

In psychology, that sort of approach (chasing rainbows) can be called hedonic. By definition, hedonic activity involves the pursuit of pleasure. The word hedonic comes from the Greek word hedone. The Greek philosopher Epicurus is often considered the first one to consider the pursuit of pleasure as the main way to achieve a happy life. He endorsed pleasure as the only intrinsically good thing, and pain as the only intrinsically bad thing.

On the other hand, psychology also gives us the concept of eudaimonic activity as a way to become happy. Psychologists often have a hard time pinning this concept down, probably because there are so many aspects to it.

Ways to achieve eudaimonic happiness include engaging in personal growth, meaningfulness, purpose, self-actualization, value-based living, curiosity, creativity, and skill development.

There appears to be a real contrast between the two. On the one hand, hedonic activities are short-lived, don’t require much effort, but they do indeed impart pleasurable feelings. On the other, eudaimonic happiness requires more effort, thought, long-term engagement, and delayed gratification.

Meanwhile, the pursuit of pleasure has a lot of fans. Some research (Henderson 2013) says that a hedonic approach to life is associated with an increased positive affect, vitality, and life satisfaction.

Tough to argue with that.

However, hedonic activities are linked to mood and emotion. There can be an intensity of arousal that can be misleading and fleeting.

What does this have to do with those happy, smiling, people mentioned above? The point is that often people are expecting to find the rainbow, the magic bullet, the one thing that will cause everything else to fall into place. When this is the case, it becomes very difficult to actually navigate the daily grind of choices and challenges that come along with a process of real change.

The Quest for Change

Let’s say a person is trying to change their eating habits to help them feel better, be healthier, and lose some weight.

Things can get complicated. For one thing, it is clear that eating is a pleasurable activity. In fact, unbridled eating that is not related to hunger is often referred to as hedonic eating. Pleasurable eating can be the nemesis of many attempts to adopt a healthy lifestyle. Not to address that as a very common challenge can lead to unrealistic expectations and feelings of failure.

Another problem can arise because we are social beings. Our social lives can keep us entrenched in habits that we are trying to change. We may see ourselves as a party animal, or firmly established in certain family values, or relish our pleasurable activities and get-togethers with friends. These are often opportunities to eat in a way that seems to fit the occasion.

What happens to those pleasures when our health goals change and we want to find some better eating habits?

Little wonder that many people would rather sign on to something that is going to continue to bring them pleasure. Who would sign up for a journey that involves long-term challenges, mental effort, and maybe even pain? How can we be honest when advertising a diet or exercise program by telling the truth about the process?

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No More Rainbow Chasing

And yet, that is exactly the process of developing eudaimonic, or long-lasting happiness and well-being. Instead of immediate pleasure, there is personal development, which often comes in fits and starts. There is a process of learning, staying open to new ways of doing things, and dealing with setbacks creatively. Eventually, dealing successfully with setbacks can be seen as personal victories that bring pleasure.

Those victories can fuel an interest in the actual change process. It is a way to cultivate perseverance as things unfold.

Oishi, et al. (2020) note that a large part of developing eudaimonic happiness is learning to change perspective. Instead of being focused only on a good result, a new perspective places value on the process as well as the result. Offering a process of change that is guided, slow, and based on each individual’s history, preferences, and goals can help to make the shift. Supporting people as they hone their abilities to re-frame and re-appraise specific situations is one of the keys to accomplishing this.

Practicing flexible thinking can also be a way to deal with negative emotional situations that may send people running back to their previous pleasurable habits. It is really easy to distract ourselves with a short-duration pleasure rather than to take the time and mental effort it takes to choose a different coping strategy. Again, offering support for those efforts and keeping it interesting by involving the individual in every step of the process can help to turn things around.

Celebrating the Journey

The answer may be to send a strong message that these shifts are possible. Doing so can take the overwhelm out of change by assuring social support. Making the case for long-term personal growth may be the way to stop focusing on celebrating results that may or may not happen. We can celebrate a journey that develops deep, enduring, happiness and well-being.