6 Tips to Get the Most Out of Therapy

In my last blog post — "Six Signs It’s Time to Go to Therapy" — I discussed the importance of discerning when it's time to seek professional help. I described six signs that indicate you need to go to therapy. But people often ask me what to do when they get there. Those who have not previously gone to therapy sometimes say that they aren't sure how it's supposed to go. They don't know whether to pour out their entire life story or to focus on their current problems. Therefore, it seems appropriate to follow up my last blog with this one, which talks about six specific ways to navigate therapy so that it's most helpful.

Obviously, the initial step is to find a therapist who's right for you. There are many choices, but the most important factor in choosing a therapist is to select someone who does therapy in a way with which you're most comfortable. Maybe you don't even know the answer to that yet. But you can get a sense of how direct a therapist is in providing advice and detect whether or not you like that. If you have a lot of life to process, you may want someone who is quiet and compassionate so that you can tell your story. Or, you may have been struggling for such a long time that you really want to focus on solutions to help you function more effectively. But it's important to give this some thought, and maybe visit two or three therapists for an intake to see what feels best to you.

Once you have chosen a therapist whom you connect with, and you're settling into the concept of therapy, you can start to consider the following ways to get the most out of therapy.

1. Go to therapy consistently. We all have busy schedules. It's hard to fit everything in. But therapy is an ongoing process, regardless of the modality. You must go on a regular basis to benefit from it. There has to be time to share your circumstances and experiences, time to share your thoughts and feelings about those things, and time for the therapist to share their perspective with you and offer strategies. This cannot happen if you only go once a month or whenever it works with your schedule. Make time for it to allow the process to unfold naturally.
2. Think about your therapy when you're not in therapy. Therapy doesn't work in a compartmentalized manner. You can't go to a session on Thursday at 10 AM and then not think about what was discussed until you see your therapist again the next week. In between sessions, take some time to reflect on what you talked about and what your therapist may have offered you. It's also a good idea to write things down as you think of them and take that information to your next session.
3. Take notes during sessions. Things may get emotional sometimes, so it may be hard to write things down. But do the best that you can. Jot some notes down on paper or put them in your phone. Have at least an outline of each session, so you can look back and recognize where you've been and that you've been productive.
4. Track your progress. Many therapists already assess clients occasionally to see how things are going. But you can proactively do this as well. Every once in a while, check in with yourself or ask your therapist how they think things are going. Reassess your goals and determine whether or not therapy feels purposeful.
5. Be assertive in letting your therapist know if therapy isn't going in the right direction. A good therapist should be able to handle the feedback, even welcome it. They should help you figure out what isn't working and craft a new plan.
6. Remember that your therapist is human. They may have incredible insight into your mental health, but they cannot read your mind. If something's bothering you or you don't like the direction of therapy, talk with them about it. If they're talking too much or too little, discuss it with them. Therapy is a collaborative effort between you and your therapist.

You can take a proactive role in determining the quality of your therapy. Do not assume that therapy is ineffective because you have not quickly made progress. Be reasonable about your expectations, and recognize the positive things that you take from it.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.