How Many Past Partners Is Too Many?

In what way does someone’s past sexual history shape how they are perceived as a potential romantic partner? New research reveals the specific number of past sexual partners people consider acceptable and highlights the surprising role of recent sexual activity.

First, a little background:

Historically, sex has carried significant risks, ranging from life-threatening diseases to social consequences like abandonment or paternity uncertainty. While modern contraception and family planning have reduced many of these risks, these risks haven’t disappeared entirely, especially when people are considering a long-term partner.

One factor people often consider is the number of sexual partners a potential mate has had. This detail can shape perceptions about the potential mate’s values, sexual health, and potential reliability in a long-term relationship.

A Global Study on Sexual History and Long-Term Relationship Preferences

A recent study published in Scientific Reports explored how a person’s past sexual behavior affects their dating appeal. Led by Andrew Thomas and colleagues across 11 countries, the study asked whether people prefer partners with fewer sexual encounters.

The researchers found that people generally preferred those with fewer partners, but timing also mattered. Those whose sexual activity had slowed in recent years were seen as more appealing for long-term commitment.

The biggest drop in desirability occurred between four and 12 past partners. Increasing from 12 to 36 also lowered appeal, but the effect was smaller. This pattern appeared in both men and women, suggesting there was no strong sexual double standard. Cultural differences were present but minor.

Study Details: How Researchers Measured Sexual History Preferences

The research comprised three studies involving more than 5,300 participants. In the final study, 10 international labs collaborated to assess how cultural background shaped people’s responses.

Participants first completed a test of their views on sociosexuality (openness to casual sex), called the Sociosexual Orientation Inventory-Revised (SOI-R). This included statements like “Sex without love is okay.”

Next, participants viewed diagrams that depicted fictional sexual histories. See Figure 1. These visuals illustrated how often someone had new sexual partners over time.

In the figure, the yellow vertical lines denote sexual partners. As can be seen, in the top image, the partners are spaced somewhat evenly over time. In the middle image, the partners are clustered closer to the present. In the bottom image, they are still clustered, but the relationships mostly occurred a long time ago.

Source: Arash Emamzadeh (adapted from Thomas et al, 2025)

Participants were asked if they would consider a long-term relationship with someone based on each of these patterns.

The results were clear: People were less likely to commit to someone with a history of many past partners, especially if these relationships had occurred more recently.

Why Timing Matters

People were more open to long-term relationships with partners whose sexual activity had slowed down over time. In contrast, frequent recent encounters made people less willing to commit. This effect was strongest when the total number of partners was already high.

Even those who were open to casual sex still preferred suitors whose sexual history was slowing down. This suggests that stability over time is attractive to most people seeking a long-term relationship, regardless of personal values around sex.

Small Cultural Differences

Results were mostly consistent across cultures, with a few exceptions. For instance, participants in the U.S. and Norway were more accepting of a partner with four past partners than those in China or Poland. These differences may reflect social attitudes, dating norms, gender roles, or even sex ratios.

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What This Means for Dating Today

What is the “right” number of sexual partners when it comes to long-term relationships?

The studies showed that having more past partners reduced people’s willingness to pursue a committed romantic relationship.

The biggest drop happened between four and 12 partners.

Going from 12 to 36 partners also lowered appeal, but not as sharply. At a certain point, the differences seem to become less meaningful. For example, the difference between 31 and 35 partners matters much less than between five and nine.

In short, fewer tends to be better.

Timing also matters. People care not just about how many partners someone has had, but when those encounters took place:

A history of slowing down is seen as more appealing than one that’s becoming more active.

Final thoughts

Even though we’ve come a long way from cave-dwelling and hunting for survival, not all concerns have changed. One of them is still the risk involved in forming a long-term romantic bond (long-term cohabitation, getting married).

As dating becomes more public (through apps and social media), these patterns may shape how people present themselves, and what others infer from their relationship and sexual history.

And we will continue to judge others and make assumptions, sometimes harshly and sometimes unconsciously, but almost always with serious consequences.

So when you next find yourself (or someone else) reacting to a person’s number of past partners, pause to consider the assumptions that reaction rests on. Are they justified or ingrained? As our dating norms continue to evolve, questioning these gut impressions may be one of the most important steps toward healthier, more authentic, and meaningful relationships.

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