How to Be More Playful with Your Partner

Over time, most partners forget how to play, and that’s a shame.

Posted Dec 04, 2018

Playful Partners

My wife, winner of a Daenerys Targaryen look-alike contest, enjoys her days as the mother of doggies. She gets morning tea in bed, flowers when in bloom, and I always wake her up by telling her I love her. I try and keep it creative, so it’s seldom the same thing. We are both playful in that way, and it helps keep the love flowing.

Over time, most partners forget how to play, and that’s a shame. We often get so caught up in work, and any problems that may arise, that by the end of the day, we’re too tired to remember to pay special attention to our partner. And that can lead to hurt feelings, resentments, and even arguments. 

If you’ve ever raised children, you know you love them and that they take a lot of work. Looking after your kids, feeding them, entertaining them, and making sure they are feeling secure is a big job, and a rewarding one. Guess what? Much the same goes for being a good partner. The difference is that with your mate, it’s a two-way street—you receive back all that attention that you put out, and usually much more. 

I’m not saying to treat your lover like a child—the nurturing is much different—but the tasks are equal in emotional energy. If you can’t pull yourself together enough to respond to your partner’s playfulness with at least a smile, then get up and go clean something, or if you are tired and cranky, go to bed. Don’t be grumpy. It really doesn’t look or feel very good to you or to anybody else. And throwing a tantrum is way out of line when someone who loves you is trying to express warm feelings or have fun with you.

Reflecting your partner’s positive energy is a great way to get some extra energy yourself. Think of it this way. If you respond in kind, you will get hugs and kisses or some sign of affection. The only thing that would prevent you is stubbornness, pure and simple. I hate to pull your covers, but if you let a bad mood prevent you from accepting the love of a good person, then find another mood. 

You can have fun in many ways. You can joke with each other, play cards (or play the ponies), spend time in the garden, or go for a day trip. Sometimes when life is just a little too much, we have to remind ourselves to take some time to play, and it’s always more fun when the one you love is with you. 

Every day, no matter what, you need to express positive emotions to the people you share your life with. This is important, because if you forget, over time they will begin to feel that you don’t care. And then toxic energy can appear. I know this may sound like another task in your over-packed day, but it is no more difficult than giving a warm smile to the person who makes your heart tick and try to have a little fun in the process.