Give Yourself the Best Pep Talk for Dating After Divorce

How to change your thoughts about dating so you feel confident and excited.

Posted Nov 02, 2020

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Source: Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

“He is never going to call.”

“I was so awkward on that date.”

“I have such bad luck with dating.” 

Have you left a date and thought these things? 

Have you said these statements to your friends and they tell you that you’re wrong but deep down you believe them to be true?

After repeating these thoughts to yourself over and over you, do begin to believe them?

Our mind is easily tricked into believing our thoughts.

I recently talked about the power of our thoughts with Tricia Huffman, better known as Your Joyologist. Tricia is dedicated to helping people live in pure joy by looking at their thoughts and what they are saying to themselves every day. 

Tricia explained to me that “what we tell ourselves is the truth that we live into. So if we are telling ourselves that we aren’t enough, that no one will ever love us and accept us fully, we believe that and live out our lives into those beliefs.”

While this might sound hopeless for those of you who have been telling yourself negative thoughts for years, don’t fret because as Tricia explains, “the bonus is that it is just as easy to believe an empowering thought as it is to believe a disempowering thought — if we allow it. It just may take practice.  But, it is possible for you, no matter where you are currently at in your journey and no matter what thoughts you are currently believing to be true about yourself and your life.”

Isn’t that empowering?

Just think for a minute of the power you have to change how you feel simply by changing your thoughts. 

I have a module on this topic in my online program "Afterglow: The Light at The Other Side of Divorce," and so many women have benefited from learning how to reframe their thoughts. 

This strategy is so powerful! 

For some people, it might be hard to simply change your thinking. Not to worry, Tricia has some fabulous affirmations or positive thoughts that you can try on for size. 

The best way to make these thoughts more permanent in your repertoire is to repeat them. I typically recommend to clients to say them 10 times, twice a day for at least 2 weeks. 

You might feel silly at first and that they don’t feel authentic, but they simply aren’t what you are used to. They are no less valid than all the negative thoughts you have been telling yourself for so long. 

Here are some affirmations to help you step back into dating with more ease:

  • I am worthy of love. I am worthy of affection. I am worthy, now.
  • I am open to receiving the love I deserve.
  • I am enough right now as I am. 
  • I am open to being with someone who will handle my heart, my mind, and my spirit with full love and care. 
  • I am opening myself up to the world around me and to the possibilities for the partnership I dream of. 
  • I approach dating from a space of clarity, ease, and fun. 
  • I am allowing myself to be fully seen, fully heard, and fully appreciated. 
  • I trust that the best person and the best relationship for me is out there and I will find it right on time. 

Imagine if the next time you approached dating you thought one of these thoughts!

How different would your experience be?