Access Your Ecstasy

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Before I get started, let me clear the air a bit. I’m not against “unnatural” ways to find your bliss. Nor am I in favor of eliminating every known pleasure to man. I, like most indulgent people, have a keen understanding of how certain sugary foods like the vanilla meringue cake at Cipriani’s can induce instant ecstasy. Yet, one too many of those is likely to cause bulging at the waistline and, in the direst of circumstances, immense guilt, panic, fear, diabetes, and death. I’m also aware of the marvelous magic of martinis that can turn into instant regret once you choose the slippery slopes they can lead you to. However, this is not a pleasure-bashing contemplation but rather an inspired and powerful urge to remind you that your bliss is at your fingertips, even if it is invisible.

The Case for Natural Bliss and Ecstasy

OK, I am not the first person on earth to recognize the proximity of bliss to your current life circumstances. People far wiser than me have pointed out that our very fundamental nature is bliss—that there is an “optimal state of being that is reflected in exemplary human beings.” ¹ There’s even a validated scale to measure it.² And you are endowed with a natural brain compound that can attach to the same receptors as cannabis to contribute toward this state.³ You have natural opioid receptors that mere positive belief can turn on.⁴ The capacity for happiness and pleasure is baked into your brain's metaphoric neuronal tagliolini.⁵

That’s not to deny that certain days are more challenging than others, that loss can be merciless, or that people can test your limits. These are very real circumstances, but they are not your fundamental nature. This reminder is about activating your authentic, blissful self.

Five Pathways to Natural Bliss and Ecstasy

1. Use self-talk: Talking to yourself is pretty powerful. When you remind yourself of living according to your values in the future, your brain becomes a happy place.⁶ If you, like me, feel a little lost in the vast sea of values that could matter, start with this list: money, creativity, independence, politics, friends and family, religion, humor, and spontaneity. Rank them on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being “most important,” and then outline one thing you will do to honor that value. The bliss of honoring yourself frequently evades you.

2. Humor yourself: It sounds obvious that humans have a natural sense of humor.⁷ Yet, it wasn’t until a recent plane ride during which I binge-watched episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm that I realized I had forgotten the exceptional benefits of a good laugh. Current research indicates that laughter has quantifiable positive physiologic benefits.⁸ In fact, one theory about laughter posits that the brain does not actually know the difference between intentionally laughing and laughing instinctively.⁹

3. Change your exposome: “Exposome” is not an everyday word, yet it refers to something quite obvious: the chemical, biological, and physical exposures one encounters during a lifetime.¹⁰ In a sense, your environment is inextricably tied to who you are, so if you can’t find your bliss naturally within, you might consider looking outside of yourself.¹¹

I was recently a passenger in a car whirling down the Malibu coast, and boy was that a potent reminder of how vast and immensely beautiful this world is! I was instantly intoxicated. The coast is always accessible with some planning, so why not plan some deliberate exposure? And the mountains are not a bad idea either. Anything that induces awe creates shifts in neurophysiology, a diminished focus on the self, an increased sense of social connection, and a heightened sense of meaning.¹²

4. Create magical music moments: It’s a helpful habit to periodically check the Billboard Top 100 hits and discover music that instantly transforms your day. There’s a lot of bliss-inducing potential there.¹³ Not only does the “discovery” make you happy, but the music that you love activates the brain’s reward center too. Also, it can create transformational and transcendent experiences. If you’ve ever watched the duet of Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton singing “Tennessee Whiskey” and “Drink You Away,” you’ll know what I mean.¹⁴ And if that’s not your thing, try listening to James Brown and Pavarotti singing “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World.”¹⁵

5. Experiment with surprising ingredients while cooking: I was recently at Crustacean in Beverly Hills, an upscale restaurant that combines traditional Vietnamese with pan-Asian and French influences. I was with a food-loving group, so I exalted in almost every dish we ordered. The garlic noodles and garlic crab are a standard formula for bliss and ecstasy. Yet, this time, the kohlrabi Caesar with furikake, Vietnamese black pepper, and Parmesan snow blew me away. The combined replacement of romaine with kohlrabi, the umami depth of furikake, and the subtle difference in the taste of Vietnamese black pepper was a gastronomical extravaganza. I had to look up all of these ingredients because I was unfamiliar with them, but I didn't need to be an expert to open the doors to this cuisine's bliss. Scientifically, the bliss comes through taste, novelty, and sensory integration, and experimenting like this can be a surefire pathway to ecstasy.¹⁶

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