Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Mating

Negative Emotions Don't Obey the Law of Attraction

Bad feelings can lead us to better things.

The Law of Attraction says, in a nutshell, that what you think about is what you attract.

According to this law, if you’re constantly complaining about being poor, you will only attract more poverty. In fact, if you obsess about anything you don’t have, you’ll most likely continue not to have it.

Proponents of the Law of Attraction suggest that you act, think, and speak as though the circumstances you desire already exist in your life. For example, if you’d like more money, act as if you already had more than enough.

The general idea is that thoughts are attractive. Their energy attracts similar energy, drawing to you whatever you tend to focus on.

Want more wealth? Focus on feeling wealthy. Better health? Focus on what’s going right, not wrong, in your body.

If you live your life by the Law of Attraction, you might get a little nervous when you find yourself in a bad mood, which I’m sure you do sometimes, since you’re only human (unless you’re a bot crawling this site, in which case: Hello, bot! We meet again).

I’ve heard from numerous people who are concerned about the idea of constructive wallowing because it seems to fly in the face of the Law of Attraction.

Now, I’m no expert in metaphysics, but my understanding of the law is that it’s thoughts, not feelings, that are attractive according to this law.

This makes perfect sense.

Thoughts can convey intentions, because we can choose what we think.

Emotions, on the other hand, appear to originate in the limbic system, below the level of conscious awareness and control.

Therefore we can’t choose our feelings.

So although thoughts can be on purpose, feelings never are.

Allow me to create an example to illustrate the point.

Priscilla is an actress, and a very good one.

She's so optimistic about her acting career that she has little trouble behaving and feeling as if she’s already successful.

When she goes to auditions, she’s gracious rather than servile, generous rather than grasping.

She acts and thinks like a successful person.

One day she auditions for a part in a film. It's the perfect part for her, and it will launch the next stage of her career if she gets it.

She does her best at the audition, and feels good about it. Now comes the hard part.

After the audition, she waits for a call to find out whether she got the part.

No call comes.

In the acting world, silence is definitive. She didn’t get it.

Her agent confirms that someone else got the part. It’s time to move on.

Priscilla does have positive thoughts about her acting career in general, but she has contradictory feelings about this audition.

She gave it her best shot, but she didn’t get the part.

Priscilla is bummed.

Of course she is! She felt she was perfect for the role, and she believes this film could have taken her career to the next level.

What a disappointment.

A student of the Law of Attraction, Priscilla is nervous to admit to herself how disappointed she is.

But watch what happens when she allows herself to feel the disappointment.

She experiences the full extent of her dismay, and as she sheds some tears, she tells herself, “Ah, Priscilla, my darling … you are so sad right now that you didn’t get this part. Your tears are totally understandable. You wanted the part so badly, and you would have been perfect for it. It is a disappointing turn of events, my dear. So you go ahead and cry. I’m here with you and I’ll hold your hand.”

What is the thought, the intent, behind Pricilla’s self-talk?

It’s compassion. It’s kindness and empathy and love.

THESE are the attractive intentions creating Priscilla’s reality right now.

Right in this moment, in the depth of her despair, she is loved.

What do you think Priscilla will attract more of in her life if this is what goes on inside her?

Don’t be afraid of so-called “negative” emotions. Just be sure to treat yourself with compassion when they arise, and if you attract anything with your intention, it’s bound to be good.

advertisement
More from Tina Gilbertson LPC
More from Psychology Today