2 Tricks for Escaping Worry's Webs and Rabbit Holes

Have you ever been trapped in worry's webs? Worry has a crafty way of luring us in with something real, perhaps a thought of something painful in the past, like when we lost a job or a possibility of losing a current job. Yet, like a spider's trap, worry can catch us in a spinning circle of story.

Before long, we have written a play in our minds of supervisors talking negatively about us, getting a poor evaluation, failing on a major project, and losing our job—even if none of those things are happening. It can be tricky to differentiate this imagined reality from what is certain.

In inference-based cognitive therapy, the in-between place where we make these terrible assumptions is called "inferential confusion" (O'Connor and Aardema, 2012). We make inferences all the time based on what we can observe. For example, right now, although I know it is a remote possibility, the roof over my home could collapse. I am guessing it won't, and I am not concerned with it. Inferential confusion weaponizes the worst-case scenarios, thus breeding fear.

What is most tricky is that in inferential confusion, our bias toward the negative is amplified, creating the scariest of tales. Ones so horrific that they feel authentic. Yet, without the confirmation of uncertainty, "what if" thoughts hold the capacity to torture us with endless fears. In cognitive behavioral therapy, the cascade of worry rabbit holes that can sprout from a single "what if" thought is called "catastrophic thinking." We can create a disaster with nothing but thoughts.

Finding peace with uncertainty and recognizing what is certain are two strategies for navigating anxiety

1. Peace With Uncertainty

Uncertainty at once gives life meaning and threatens all that is meaningful. It can be neither a friend nor an enemy but stands in silence. This playhouse has more rooms than we could ever explore.

Yielding our worries to wonder with laughter, tears, smiles, and compassion is our best and only option. These whimsical words could feel falsely fuzzy when we stand side by side with some of the darker realities of life, like illness, loss, pain, and grief. Yet, if we can make some peace with uncertainty, we reach freedom to experience what is rather than become fixated on imagined doom.

2. Recognizing What Is Certain

Inference-based cognitive therapy lends us another tool for coping with uncertainty and worry: building trust in our senses in the here and now so we can recognize what is certain. This could be as simple as observing the facts of the moment.

A person sitting in their office, having had thoughts that they could be terminated from their job, might, for example, remember that at this moment, they are still working for this company and have not been told they have lost their job. They might reflect on other facts, such as the knowledge that they have a marketable degree and could work at another workplace if necessary. Similarly, they could focus on sensations in the present moment, like a warm sip of coffee. Recognizing what is certain strengthens our capacity to be present in the moment and to navigate worry.

Closing

While there is no one magic cure for anxiety, the two strategies above encompass a fantastic start to creating a healthier relationship with uncertainty. For those in need of support, psychotherapies, including inference-based cognitive therapy and acceptance commitment therapy, offer additional strategies for pivoting away from the cycles of worry and toward the lives we wish to lead.