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Key points
- Certainty is an emotional state, not an intellectual one.
- To create a feeling of certainty, the brain must filter out far more information than it processes.
- Feelings of certainty distort reality by magnifying selected aspects of it.
- We can temper the illusion of certainty with focus on what we’re for, rather than what we’re against.
Driving the polarization that characterizes our times is the conflation of conviction and certainty.
If I believe it, it’s certain!
Conviction is the strong belief that a behavior, idea, or ideology is right and moral. When powered by the adrenaline emotions—anger, fear, contempt, disgust—conviction evokes an illusion of certainty, which leads to a great many of the mistakes we make in life.
Certainty is an emotional state, not an intellectual one. To create a feeling of certainty, the brain must filter out far more information than it processes, which, of course, greatly increases its already high error rate during emotional arousal. In other words, the more certain we feel, the more likely we’re wrong.
Mental focus, the foundation of feelings of certainty, distorts reality by magnifying and amplifying selected aspects of it, while filtering out everything else. You may discover more details about the aspects of your focus. But what you discover will have no contextual meaning; you have isolated the selected aspects from their dynamic interaction with the rest of reality. In other words, focus magnifies things out of proportion and context.
Outgrowing Polarization
This past election felt like adolescence without the hormones. The dynamics of polarization makes all sides more extreme in reaction to each other. It makes us more likely to burn bridges than seek common ground. In a polarized world, we’re all at least partially wrong.
“Easily offended” was once considered a symptom of those who suffer from fragile egos and rigid perspectives, who regard disagreements as personal attacks. Today, "easily offended" is a badge of honor; if you’re not easily offended, you don’t care, or worse.
On social media, everyone has a voice, which they use mostly to react to everyone else’s voice. The ubiquity of social media has created unprecedented pressure to conform to the views of whatever pole we identify with. The current polarization seems to have more to do with ingroup contagion and outgroup reactivity than to deeply held conviction. I’m reminded of Carl Jung’s famous quote:
"If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s."
Transcend the Hate Embedded in Labels
The current proliferation of negative labels in public discourse is patently pejorative, used to signal tribalism, while attacking, if not dehumanizing, other tribes. The transgressions of humane values committed by my tribe are okay, but those perpetrated by yours are intolerable.
Weaponizing words negatively influences behavior more than the meaning of the words, especially those that have multiple and debatable meanings in various contexts. Negative labels slur people while obscuring solutions to complex problems. Far from eliciting cooperation, they deepen divisions.
Negative labels focus on what users are against, rather than what they’re for. Little positive change comes from being against something, whether it's racism, sexism, ageism, or any ism. Positive change is more likely to result from working for equality of respect, value, and opportunity.
Use Uncertainty Wisely
How we cope with uncertainty determines how well we do in life. If we can tolerate it, uncertainty drives us to learn more and connect to one another. It can make us smarter and more compassionate.
Unfortunately, we're prone to react to uncertainty, not by learning and connecting, but by trying to pretend that it doesn't exist. Instead of seeing it as a friend, we vainly try to defeat it—or cover it up—with dogma, superstition, delusions, drugs, ego, attempts to control the environment and other people, perfectionism, depression, and anger.
The best way to know that you’re acting out of conviction and not resentment or arrogance is to state why your behavior is right and moral. If your answer has conviction, it will embody your deeper values. If it's resentful or arrogant, it will devalue someone else.
“For” vs. “Against”
An important feature of conviction is that it’s for something, like the well-being of loved ones, justice, fair treatment, or equality. Resentment is against something—mistreatment of loved ones, injustice, or unfairness. The distinction may seem subtle, but it’s crucial in terms of motivation. Those who hate injustice want retribution and triumph, not fairness. They fantasize about punishing or humiliating their opponents, who stir “justifiable” contempt.
Being for something creates positive feelings of interest, passion, or joy, which tend to improve health and relationships. We fantasize about improving relationships and building a better world.
Being against something foments feelings of anger, contempt, envy, or disgust, which have deleterious effects on health and relationships, while trapping us in the illusion of certainty.
