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Key points
- There are a lot of negative stereotypes about reaching your sixties, as reflected in the famous Beatles song.
- What it's like to be in your sixties has changed a lot from a generation ago, in positive ways.
- The sixties can be a time of great enjoyment both professionally and personally.
- How we think about the sixties affects how we experience it, so choose your anthem wisely.
I recently turned 64, and I feel pretty good about my life—or I would, if I could get that damned Beatles song out of my head: Will you still need me? Will you still feed me? When I’m 64?
Paul McCartney wrote “When I’m 64” when he was 14, so he didn’t really know much about growing old. Still, the song became popular because it represented a view of aging that many of us share: When you’re 64, you’re done. There's nothing ahead but stumbling decrepitude, with a few modest pleasures if you’re lucky. You’ll be dependent on the kindness of others, and good luck with that. Will you still feed me?
I can remember how ancient 64 seemed when I was young. I loved being young—the expansive freedom of it, the feeling that anything was possible, my life ahead like a huge shining canvas on which all my dreams could be painted. I loved going out with friends, in pursuit of drunken revelry (and often achieving it), staying out ‘til the wee hours. I had big goals for my career, sure that I’d make it to the top of my field even though I hadn’t accomplished anything yet. When I thought about my parents’ lives as they entered their sixties, I could see that they were happier than I was, as I struggled to make my way in the world and bring my dreams into being. But theirs was a modest happiness, their pleasures tame, planned, and predictable. I wanted more than that out of life.
Now that I’m 64, I understand better the appeal of their quiet enjoyments. Still, what it’s like to be in your sixties has changed a lot between their era and mine. My dad retired at 61, and my mom was never employed after their first of five children arrived, but in my career as a writer and researcher I feel like I’m now at the peak of my powers, with no intention of giving it all up in the foreseeable future. That’s true of a lot of people in my generation who are part of the “knowledge economy.” People with a college degree or more, including me, are now more likely to work into their late sixties than people without one, less for the money than because they enjoy what they do, they do it better than ever, and they find it rewarding.
Physically, too, my parents seemed to have slowed way down by the time they reached their sixties, with no exercise more ambitious than walking around the block after dinner. Like many in my generation, I’ve actually become more physically active after middle age. I took up tennis about 10 years ago and now play two or three times a week, so I’m in better shape at 64 than I was at 54. This pattern, too, is related to education, with more highly-educated members of my generation more likely to maintain a regular program of exercise.
So, as I enter the age caricatured in the Beatles song, I’m going to try to get that melody out of my head. I feel great today and I expect to feel great tomorrow, and I hope to enjoy lots of days like this in the years to come. I’m acutely aware that nothing is guaranteed; after age 60 there can be a lot of unpleasant and unwelcome health surprises, even if you have a healthy lifestyle. But right now I have high hopes. In fact, in my head I can hear “When I’m 64” fading and a Springsteen song welling up: No retreat, baby, no surrender. The sixties may not be our Glory Days, but they can still be a great time of life.
