Borderline Personality (BPD) Treatment Centres in Ontario

Photo of Anita Federici - Centre for Psychology & Emotion Regulation, Treatment Centre, PhD, CPsych
Centre for Psychology & Emotion Regulation
Treatment Centre
1 Endorsed
The Centre for Psychology & Emotion Regulation is home to an internationally recognized and diverse group of over 20 dedicated and highly skilled clinicians specializing in Eating Disorders, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Trauma, Mood, Anxiety and Wellness. We provide a high standard of care supported by a multidisciplinary team that includes: psychologists, dietitians, social workers, psychotherapists, and a psychiatrist - all of whom have extensive training in a variety of evidence based treatments.
The Centre for Psychology & Emotion Regulation is home to an internationally recognized and diverse group of over 20 dedicated and highly skilled clinicians specializing in Eating Disorders, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Trauma, Mood, Anxiety and Wellness. We provide a high standard of care supported by a multidisciplinary team that includes: psychologists, dietitians, social workers, psychotherapists, and a psychiatrist - all of whom have extensive training in a variety of evidence based treatments.
(705) 990-5304 View (705) 990-5304
Photo of Sean Shahrokhnia - Psychology Health Solutions, Treatment Centre, MA, CPsych
Psychology Health Solutions
Treatment Centre
Hamilton, ON L8E
On behalf of all the staff and clinicians at Psychology Health Solutions, I welcome you to our clinic. Our main objective is to create a safe, caring, welcoming and culturally respectful environment for everyone. Making a difference in the lives of individuals and their families is at the very heart of the Psychology Health Solutions. Our goal is to assist our patients in creating opportunities for Hope, Wellness and Recovery. Sean Shahrokhnia, MA., C.Psych. Psychologist, Managing Director.
On behalf of all the staff and clinicians at Psychology Health Solutions, I welcome you to our clinic. Our main objective is to create a safe, caring, welcoming and culturally respectful environment for everyone. Making a difference in the lives of individuals and their families is at the very heart of the Psychology Health Solutions. Our goal is to assist our patients in creating opportunities for Hope, Wellness and Recovery. Sean Shahrokhnia, MA., C.Psych. Psychologist, Managing Director.
(289) 802-4887 View (289) 802-4887
Photo of Serenna Silva - BeWell Downtown Toronto Health Centre, Treatment Centre
We work with children, youth, adults, and couples who are looking to feel more connected, grounded, and supported in their day to day lives. Some come to us to deepen self understanding, improve communication, or navigate changes in relationships, work, or identity. Others are seeking support for stress, emotional wellbeing, or patterns they want to shift. Our clients value a space that feels welcoming, practical, and centered on real, lasting growth. We strive to meet each person with warmth and curiosity, recognizing that every story and experience is unique.
We work with children, youth, adults, and couples who are looking to feel more connected, grounded, and supported in their day to day lives. Some come to us to deepen self understanding, improve communication, or navigate changes in relationships, work, or identity. Others are seeking support for stress, emotional wellbeing, or patterns they want to shift. Our clients value a space that feels welcoming, practical, and centered on real, lasting growth. We strive to meet each person with warmth and curiosity, recognizing that every story and experience is unique.
(647) 490-2071 View (647) 490-2071
Photo of Cfir Ottawa - Centre for Interpersonal Relationships - Ottawa, Treatment Centre
Established in 2010, the Centre for Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR) is a private practice with over 65 highly trained clinicians to help you. Our clinicians provide confidential, compassionate and caring psychotherapy and assessment services. Our offices are conveniently located in downtown Ottawa, Toronto and St. Catharines, carefully and deliberately chosen to ensure ease of access for our clients coming to our offices for in-person services, and designed to be warm and welcoming spaces. Our clinicians also offer online psychotherapy and assessment services.
Established in 2010, the Centre for Interpersonal Relationships (CFIR) is a private practice with over 65 highly trained clinicians to help you. Our clinicians provide confidential, compassionate and caring psychotherapy and assessment services. Our offices are conveniently located in downtown Ottawa, Toronto and St. Catharines, carefully and deliberately chosen to ensure ease of access for our clients coming to our offices for in-person services, and designed to be warm and welcoming spaces. Our clinicians also offer online psychotherapy and assessment services.
(343) 353-0467 View (343) 353-0467
Photo of Centres For Health And Healing - Centres For Health and Healing, Treatment Centre, PhD, PsyD, MACP, BSc
Centres For Health and Healing
Treatment Centre
Vaughan, ON L4H
Finding the proper treatment program that is focused on you and your issues rather than group issues can be a challenge. We are non 12 steps, and the program we have developed is individual, research-based, highly effective and totally confidential. We specialize in mental health treatment... getting to the root causes so that you can be assured of the best outcomes. Treatment at Centres for Health and Healing is client focused and because of our specialized approach to addiction we offer a LIFE TIME GUARANTEE with our treatment plan.
Finding the proper treatment program that is focused on you and your issues rather than group issues can be a challenge. We are non 12 steps, and the program we have developed is individual, research-based, highly effective and totally confidential. We specialize in mental health treatment... getting to the root causes so that you can be assured of the best outcomes. Treatment at Centres for Health and Healing is client focused and because of our specialized approach to addiction we offer a LIFE TIME GUARANTEE with our treatment plan.
(289) 207-5360 View (289) 207-5360
Photo of Sullivan + Associates - Sullivan + Associates Clinical Psychology, Treatment Centre
We are a psychology clinic located in the heart of Thunder Bay. We offer both psychotherapy and assessment services and serve adults, children, and teens. Our therapists have all been trained in Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, a treatment shown to be highly effective in treating depression, anxiety, and a host of other common life difficulties.
We are a psychology clinic located in the heart of Thunder Bay. We offer both psychotherapy and assessment services and serve adults, children, and teens. Our therapists have all been trained in Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, a treatment shown to be highly effective in treating depression, anxiety, and a host of other common life difficulties.
(807) 788-0554 View (807) 788-0554
Photo of Nadia Pershad - BeWell Clarkson Health Centre, Treatment Centre
BeWell Clarkson Health Centre
Treatment Centre
Mississauga, ON L5J
We work with children, youth, adults, and couples who are looking to feel more connected, grounded, and supported in their day to day lives. Some come to us to deepen self understanding, improve communication, or navigate changes in relationships, work, or identity. Others are seeking support for stress, emotional wellbeing, or patterns they want to shift. Our clients value a space that feels welcoming, practical, and centered on real, lasting growth. We strive to meet each person with warmth and curiosity, recognizing that every story and experience is unique.
We work with children, youth, adults, and couples who are looking to feel more connected, grounded, and supported in their day to day lives. Some come to us to deepen self understanding, improve communication, or navigate changes in relationships, work, or identity. Others are seeking support for stress, emotional wellbeing, or patterns they want to shift. Our clients value a space that feels welcoming, practical, and centered on real, lasting growth. We strive to meet each person with warmth and curiosity, recognizing that every story and experience is unique.
(365) 796-4859 View (365) 796-4859
Photo of Joseph Thomas - Canadian Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Treatment Centre
Canadian Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy
Treatment Centre
3 Endorsed
Online Only
Are traumatic experiences affecting your daily life? At the Canadian Center for Counselling and Psychotherapy, our trauma specialists provide evidence-based approaches in a safe, compassionate environment. We offer advanced therapies specifically designed for trauma recovery: Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) for neurobiological healing EMDR for processing traumatic memories DBT for emotional regulation skills CBT for addressing negative thought patterns Mindfulness to interrupt trauma responses Sex Therapy for healing intimacy after trauma
Are traumatic experiences affecting your daily life? At the Canadian Center for Counselling and Psychotherapy, our trauma specialists provide evidence-based approaches in a safe, compassionate environment. We offer advanced therapies specifically designed for trauma recovery: Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) for neurobiological healing EMDR for processing traumatic memories DBT for emotional regulation skills CBT for addressing negative thought patterns Mindfulness to interrupt trauma responses Sex Therapy for healing intimacy after trauma
(437) 291-8547 View (437) 291-8547
Photo of Melissa Miles - Inner Life Psychotherapy + Healing Collective, Treatment Centre, MA, RP
Inner Life Psychotherapy + Healing Collective
Treatment Centre
1 Endorsed
Milton, ON L9T
Inner Life Psychotherapy serves individuals, couples, and groups seeking compassionate, evidence-informed mental health support. Our clients come with diverse needs, including anxiety, depression, stress, life transitions, trauma, relational challenges, and personal growth goals. We offer tailored therapy options - from individual and couples sessions to group programs - and guidance to help clients find the right therapist match. Sliding scale and reduced rates make care accessible for anyone ready to take the next step in their healing journey.
Inner Life Psychotherapy serves individuals, couples, and groups seeking compassionate, evidence-informed mental health support. Our clients come with diverse needs, including anxiety, depression, stress, life transitions, trauma, relational challenges, and personal growth goals. We offer tailored therapy options - from individual and couples sessions to group programs - and guidance to help clients find the right therapist match. Sliding scale and reduced rates make care accessible for anyone ready to take the next step in their healing journey.
(365) 990-0534 View (365) 990-0534
Photo of Alan Chan - Sageview Health, Treatment Centre
Sageview Health
Treatment Centre
Mississauga, ON L5N
At Sageview Health our goal is to empower people to overcome challenges and lead a rich, full, and meaningful life. Our qualified mental health professionals create a safe, accepting and compassionate space in order to help people manage their mental health challenges. Our clinic provides comprehensive assessment and treatment services for children, adolescents, adults, seniors, couples and families.
At Sageview Health our goal is to empower people to overcome challenges and lead a rich, full, and meaningful life. Our qualified mental health professionals create a safe, accepting and compassionate space in order to help people manage their mental health challenges. Our clinic provides comprehensive assessment and treatment services for children, adolescents, adults, seniors, couples and families.
(365) 617-0940 View (365) 617-0940
Photo of Nahaleh Moshtagh - Mobius Psychological Services, Treatment Centre
Mobius Psychological Services
Treatment Centre
3 Endorsed
Toronto, ON M4P
We believe therapy creates the architecture of possibility. We are dedicated to helping you build the foundation that will support your greatest potential. We offer therapy that comes from our lived experiences, skills and education. We provide compassionate support on the journey to understanding yourself better, making deeper connections and living more fully.
We believe therapy creates the architecture of possibility. We are dedicated to helping you build the foundation that will support your greatest potential. We offer therapy that comes from our lived experiences, skills and education. We provide compassionate support on the journey to understanding yourself better, making deeper connections and living more fully.
(289) 302-7695 View (289) 302-7695
Photo of Amanda Lynn Carver - Vistas Psychotherapy and Wellness, Treatment Centre, R.P., M.Ed, RYT-20
Vistas Psychotherapy and Wellness
Treatment Centre
1 Endorsed
Toronto, ON M5A
Many people come to us when life feels heavy—when their mind is busy, their body is tense, or they feel outside their window of tolerance. We support youth and adults navigating anxiety, trauma, stress, burnout, and life transitions. Clients often seek relief, clarity, and a steadier nervous system. Our care is trauma‑informed, culturally humble, and paced to help people feel grounded and supported.
Many people come to us when life feels heavy—when their mind is busy, their body is tense, or they feel outside their window of tolerance. We support youth and adults navigating anxiety, trauma, stress, burnout, and life transitions. Clients often seek relief, clarity, and a steadier nervous system. Our care is trauma‑informed, culturally humble, and paced to help people feel grounded and supported.
(647) 584-3367 View (647) 584-3367
Photo of Benoit Veilleux - Better You Counselling Services, Treatment Centre, MSW, RSW
Better You Counselling Services
Treatment Centre
Ottawa, ON K2C
Ready for a Better You? We are Ottawa's choice for innovative, evidence-based counselling for individuals, couples, and families. Struggling with high anxiety, relationship conflict, emotional overwhelm, or the weight of past distress? We meet you where you are, offering compassionate, client-centered care. Our specialized therapy goes beyond talk, integrating advanced modalities like Biofeedback, Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), and Performance Enhancement Training for athletes/professionals. Located in Ottawa, ON with with flexible in-person and virtual sessions.
Ready for a Better You? We are Ottawa's choice for innovative, evidence-based counselling for individuals, couples, and families. Struggling with high anxiety, relationship conflict, emotional overwhelm, or the weight of past distress? We meet you where you are, offering compassionate, client-centered care. Our specialized therapy goes beyond talk, integrating advanced modalities like Biofeedback, Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), and Performance Enhancement Training for athletes/professionals. Located in Ottawa, ON with with flexible in-person and virtual sessions.
(613) 704-8668 View (613) 704-8668
Photo of Sarah Schwalm - BeWell Hamilton Health Centre, Treatment Centre
BeWell Hamilton Health Centre
Treatment Centre
Hamilton, ON L8N
We work with children, youth, adults, and couples who are looking to feel more connected, grounded, and supported in their day to day lives. Some come to us to deepen self understanding, improve communication, or navigate changes in relationships, work, or identity. Others are seeking support for stress, emotional wellbeing, or patterns they want to shift. Our clients value a space that feels welcoming, practical, and centered on real, lasting growth. We strive to meet each person with warmth and curiosity, recognizing that every story and experience is unique.
We work with children, youth, adults, and couples who are looking to feel more connected, grounded, and supported in their day to day lives. Some come to us to deepen self understanding, improve communication, or navigate changes in relationships, work, or identity. Others are seeking support for stress, emotional wellbeing, or patterns they want to shift. Our clients value a space that feels welcoming, practical, and centered on real, lasting growth. We strive to meet each person with warmth and curiosity, recognizing that every story and experience is unique.
(365) 797-2839 View (365) 797-2839
Photo of Lori Gill - Lori Gill Psychotherapy - Holistic Wellness, Treatment Centre, MACP, AF-EMDR, ITATM, CRM, CTS-C
At Lori Gill Psychotherapy Holistic Wellness for Health we have been providing effective and leading edge treatment for over 15 years with great success. Our therapists will help you to explore your feelings and responses with compassionate curiosity. Now more than ever people are feeling overwhelmed and having difficulty achieving balance. Whatever you are experiencing, you don't have to do it alone. At Lori Gill Psychotherapy Holistic Wellness for Health we specialize in helping you to find balance. Our model integrates highly effective counselling and psychotherapy techniques to promote wellness inclusive of mindful awareness of bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts, meditation, and self-compassion. We also include creative approaches such as art therapy, play therapy, music therapy, and somatic therapies as well as leading edge tools to enhance wellness inclusive of neurofeedback and biofeedback allowing for you to directly observe the impact you can have on your body, brain, and mind. ​ Our goal is to provide support and healing to ultimately create healthier individuals, children, parents, workplaces, and communities.
At Lori Gill Psychotherapy Holistic Wellness for Health we have been providing effective and leading edge treatment for over 15 years with great success. Our therapists will help you to explore your feelings and responses with compassionate curiosity. Now more than ever people are feeling overwhelmed and having difficulty achieving balance. Whatever you are experiencing, you don't have to do it alone. At Lori Gill Psychotherapy Holistic Wellness for Health we specialize in helping you to find balance. Our model integrates highly effective counselling and psychotherapy techniques to promote wellness inclusive of mindful awareness of bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts, meditation, and self-compassion. We also include creative approaches such as art therapy, play therapy, music therapy, and somatic therapies as well as leading edge tools to enhance wellness inclusive of neurofeedback and biofeedback allowing for you to directly observe the impact you can have on your body, brain, and mind. ​ Our goal is to provide support and healing to ultimately create healthier individuals, children, parents, workplaces, and communities.
(289) 212-6613 View (289) 212-6613
Photo of Cathy Dandurand - Ottawa Institute of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Treatment Centre
Moderate Intensity services include our Dialectical Behavioural Therapy Program and Intensive Treatment Programs (for Mood Disorders, Anxiety, OCD, Trauma, Substance Misuse, Eating Disorders, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorders, among other presentations).
Whether you're navigating through anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, environmental stressors or seeking personal growth, our team is here to accompany you. The OICBT is a private practice with over 15 years of Psychology expertise in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and complimentary research-based approaches (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy; Schema Therapy; Mindfulness; Dialectical Behavioural Therapy; Emotion-Focused Therapy, Interpersonal, etc.). Our therapy services are tailored to your unique needs, preferences and circumstances through a blend of evidence-based approaches. We strive to provide practical solutions that align with your personal values and authenticity in order to deepen your self-understanding and access life goals that hold the greatest meaning for you. The OICBT aims to be attuned to client and community needs in order to foster creativity and innovation in care. As a result, we offer a wide array of services including individual, couples, and group therapy; home and community services; and intensive treatment programs.
Moderate Intensity services include our Dialectical Behavioural Therapy Program and Intensive Treatment Programs (for Mood Disorders, Anxiety, OCD, Trauma, Substance Misuse, Eating Disorders, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorders, among other presentations).
Whether you're navigating through anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, environmental stressors or seeking personal growth, our team is here to accompany you. The OICBT is a private practice with over 15 years of Psychology expertise in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and complimentary research-based approaches (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy; Schema Therapy; Mindfulness; Dialectical Behavioural Therapy; Emotion-Focused Therapy, Interpersonal, etc.). Our therapy services are tailored to your unique needs, preferences and circumstances through a blend of evidence-based approaches. We strive to provide practical solutions that align with your personal values and authenticity in order to deepen your self-understanding and access life goals that hold the greatest meaning for you. The OICBT aims to be attuned to client and community needs in order to foster creativity and innovation in care. As a result, we offer a wide array of services including individual, couples, and group therapy; home and community services; and intensive treatment programs.
(343) 309-9013 View (343) 309-9013
Photo of Lesley Miller - Brookside Therapy & Assessments, Treatment Centre, PhD
We have clinicians with expertise in identifying and treating OCD, BPD, dementia, and other specific concerns.
Brookside Therapy & Assessments is a clinical mental health practice providing services in Burlington, St. Catharines, and online. We provide counselling, psychoeducational assessment, and neuropsychological assessment services to children, teens, adults, couples, families, and seniors. Our clinicians include psychologists, neuropsychologists, and psychotherapists. We are also a teaching facility, and affordable services are available with experienced graduate students under the clinical supervision of a member of the College of Psychologists and Behaviour Analysts of Ontario, the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers, or the Ontario College of Nurses.
We have clinicians with expertise in identifying and treating OCD, BPD, dementia, and other specific concerns.
Brookside Therapy & Assessments is a clinical mental health practice providing services in Burlington, St. Catharines, and online. We provide counselling, psychoeducational assessment, and neuropsychological assessment services to children, teens, adults, couples, families, and seniors. Our clinicians include psychologists, neuropsychologists, and psychotherapists. We are also a teaching facility, and affordable services are available with experienced graduate students under the clinical supervision of a member of the College of Psychologists and Behaviour Analysts of Ontario, the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers, or the Ontario College of Nurses.
(289) 206-8840 View (289) 206-8840
Photo of Frank Mazzawi - Metamorphosis Centre for Change, Treatment Centre, Ccac, Asw
Metamorphosis Centre for Change
Treatment Centre
5 Endorsed
Wasaga Beach, ON L9Z
Our philosophy at Metamorphosis Centre for Change is exactly what is in our name. We are not in the business of a simple recovery. We are a centre of transformation. We believe that the goal is to create a new you because the old you led you to addiction. A beautiful butterfly does not go back into the cocoon to become a caterpillar. However, no Butterfly exists without being a caterpillar first. Our program is the cocoon where the change happens. We believe that if you disregard the experience and of the journey through addiction to recovery. You will be doing yourself a discredit. Lessons and self actualizations are created through this experience. Our Goal is to provide a Our clients an environment that will foster growth and fulfillment. Our staff is driven to make our clients successful and happy with their choice of becoming a butterfly. That is why at our facility you will feel taken care of and not just a number.
Our philosophy at Metamorphosis Centre for Change is exactly what is in our name. We are not in the business of a simple recovery. We are a centre of transformation. We believe that the goal is to create a new you because the old you led you to addiction. A beautiful butterfly does not go back into the cocoon to become a caterpillar. However, no Butterfly exists without being a caterpillar first. Our program is the cocoon where the change happens. We believe that if you disregard the experience and of the journey through addiction to recovery. You will be doing yourself a discredit. Lessons and self actualizations are created through this experience. Our Goal is to provide a Our clients an environment that will foster growth and fulfillment. Our staff is driven to make our clients successful and happy with their choice of becoming a butterfly. That is why at our facility you will feel taken care of and not just a number.
(888) 615-0572 View (888) 615-0572
Photo of Administrative Team - Karibu Mental Health Network, Treatment Centre
Karibu Mental Health Network
Treatment Centre
1 Endorsed
Toronto, ON M6S
Karibu Mental Health Network was born in response to the growing need for mental health professionals who can navigate the mental health experiences of clients beyond Western models of understanding illness, health and healing. We seek to strengthen communal efforts to make mental health services more widely available to the public. We are a team of Black, Indigenous and POC therapists who are passionate about the work we do and proud to be different.
Karibu Mental Health Network was born in response to the growing need for mental health professionals who can navigate the mental health experiences of clients beyond Western models of understanding illness, health and healing. We seek to strengthen communal efforts to make mental health services more widely available to the public. We are a team of Black, Indigenous and POC therapists who are passionate about the work we do and proud to be different.
(365) 659-1704 View (365) 659-1704
Photo of Metanoia Health Wellness - Metanoia Health & Wellness, Treatment Centre
Metanoia Health & Wellness
Treatment Centre
2 Endorsed
Windsor, ON N8R
Metanoia Health & Wellness is located in Windsor, ON and we are a full service wellness studio. We have a number of services that address mental & physical wellness. We know that mental wellness is dependent on a multitude of factors which is why we strive to provide services that address stress reduction, relaxation and a safe space to unpack your troubles and reflect. Leaning into the discomforts of life with support and strategies for how to adapt and thrive through your most difficult times is what we are here for.
Metanoia Health & Wellness is located in Windsor, ON and we are a full service wellness studio. We have a number of services that address mental & physical wellness. We know that mental wellness is dependent on a multitude of factors which is why we strive to provide services that address stress reduction, relaxation and a safe space to unpack your troubles and reflect. Leaning into the discomforts of life with support and strategies for how to adapt and thrive through your most difficult times is what we are here for.
(548) 488-3164 View (548) 488-3164

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Borderline Personality (BPD) Treatment Centres
What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.

What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?
Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.

What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?
DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.

What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?
The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.