People are wired to desire closeness within relationships. However, early trauma and deep seated disappointment train our brains to use strategies to decrease painful emotional experiencing. When nobody was there to bring comfort or teach coping strategies, people either grow up to isolate or become over involved in the lives of others. Therapy explores not just the storyline but more importantly, the emotions and meanings beneath. In therapy people want to strike that balance of feeling cared for and understood by the therapist, while also being gently challenged to risk change and the discomfort that comes with growth.