I am in intense therapy for Cptsd. I am 47 and never been to therapy until last year. No one ever asked me how did I survived for so long without any other condition, great friends, great job, happy marriage and have severe cptsd...no depression/anxiety or any other condition?

Until I went to therapy, I was healthy and normal function person.

I really like you stance of What and How is the client reacting...not what happened to them?

I can do therapy now because my life is good. I can see clearly all transference (after the facts obviously) because they are delusional and when I wake up from them I am like wow! what was that? Why was I crying for food, for love, for touch, for nurturing?

I can see some personality traits such borderline, narcissist or OCD in me but I can also clearly see as parts of me not all of me.

I am also learning I survived because I shut down and disavowed all my good parts and this explains why I am good with people but internally. I can motivate anyone because I have strong belief in humanity and can give all my well wishes but I cannot do the same for me...that is how I survived. I helped others to be the best while I die little by little everyday.

Now that I am in therapy intensively, I am re-experiencing a lot of developmental phases. It is painful but everyday I wake up a bit more conscious about what happened to me and how I get here.

They are not all pretty. I also realized I have a cruel side and wonder how I used intelligently as an adult to get my way but how did I use it as a child to survive?

Interesting and fascinating things you write here. Thank you