The COVID crisis throws into relief what happens when grief has—quite literally—nowhere to go. The evidence suggests that most people summon strengths that surpass their own expectations.
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As someone who has been ghosted a few times in my life and sadly have also ghosted, I do think people need to see the ghosting persons side a bit closer and not group everyone who has done it into a category of being selfish, heartless a**holes. I will focus my views on the ghosts side to possibly help those who have been ghosted to better understand why this has happened to them. The times I have ghosted are the result of past relationships that have ended terribly. In the past I have tried being mature and as gentle as I could by doing ''the right thing'' by ending it face to face...trust me when I say this, it has never ended well. Every time the person being dumped realises its over 9 times out of 10, wounded and heartbroken they will lash out with terrible and hurtful words and events you both encountered using it all as a weapon against you, then they begin cursing you, some have even openly told me they were having an affair behind my back, whether this was true or was just being said to try and hurt me at the time, I will never know. Just as ghosting isn't right, guilt tripping, vile language and shaming your ex at the time of breakup also is unacceptable when ending a relationship. Cursing them, raging and being an emotional monster will not keep them with you once their mind is made up to end things. Breaking up with someone sucks, it hurts like hell and there is no way to do it that will not make it so. The pain is going to be there, whether they do it face to face or ghost on you. Yes, by being ghosted you're left with many questions, but in the same breath, being dumped face to face also leaves you with many questions, so its a no win situation either way as I see it. When I have broken up with someone it wasn't always because I stopped loving them, sometimes it the relationship was going no where or that I wasn't able to give them what they were seeking in life. I have never ghosted to be a b*tch or to get a sick thrill out of hurting someone, for me it was because I cared TOO much about them,I loved them TOO much. I didn't want to see the pain, heartbreak and hurt in their eyes as ending it was killing me inside too. There have been times when I've started to break up with someone then stopped because I felt guilty and so terrible for hurting them, so I'd saty in a dead end relationship until they finally ended it, which is totally unfair for them and myself. Ghosting is a cowardly way of avoiding all that drama and pain, but it doesn't always mean the person behind it is a heartless excuse for a human being either. Am I proud of ghosting someone? No. Not at all. But for me sometimes it's the only way to end it as peacefully as I can.
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