So you're not a "10" in every which way. But you're probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life. If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being human, it is now.
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You are right that ...
You are right that much of our emotional hurts come from wounding by people close to us.
At the same time, many of our joys may come from people close to us as well.
Sounds like for you though, feeling safe is worth more than the potential pleasure from living with others.