A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude.
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I knew something was wrong with both my parents when I was growing up.They viewed their children almost as slaves.The house was spotless, the yard pristine, all managed and maintained by the children. Us kids weren't getting enough to eat nor did we have much clothing. We weren't allowed to leave the house.
I left home as soon as I could, and didn't go back. I lived life in the shadows, as I was trained to serve others and not myself. And then I learned about narcissism, my parents could be on the poster for this disorder. I learned what made them tick and why they were the way they were. After much introspection, I realized that I was tired of being submissive and compliant. Leading was something I could do.
As I took on more leadership roles at work and in the community the angrier my parents became. How dare I be special, how dare I rise when they were the stars. Because of how much I have learned on the Internet I don't let the bother me. I laugh actually and explain they are the ones with the problem. Their child get promoted at work and they are furious about it and tell me there is no way I can do the job and don't deserve it.
I find I like managing, I'm really good at it. I can do it on an even keel because I am not like them, I am not a narcissist. I'd be further along in my career if I hadn't come from such a dysfunctional situation but I am very grateful for all the Psychology Today posts on the subject. They've been very helpful.
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