Coming together without being needy or passive aggressive. That is the key. I love these two comparisons Diversity and Inclusiveness because it is almost like having opposites or living by embracing the paradox. Of course as the human family we relate far more to community than to autonomy. By coming together we have a far greater chance of survival so those people end up having more children than autonomous people. Which means more human beings having children who need to be part of a community. Only we still have a need for variety. Or as is said here – diversity. Funny how diversity is so close to the word adversity, isn’t it?

Noticing what we think leads us into noticing what we believe. Keep it easy. This allows us to listen to what is going on without any creation of false memories.

Then we can feel the emotion powering this limiting belief. If you want to change your feelings you have to feel your feelings.

Here is a short process that took me forever to figure out that guarantees change of any limiting belief we had programmed in to us. Sometimes this next step can be very touchy to people. I only mention it because it works.

The example I like to start with is that forgiveness cures anger. If someone is angry and they forgive them then their anger dissolves away. It is not repressed or denied. It is simply gone. It takes emotion to resolve emotion. This is the basis of gutap. And the best anger management there is around.

And remember, forgiveness is not trust. Trust must be earned – forgiveness is only to free ourselves from being tied to them.

False beliefs or negative programming simply has a couple of powerful negative emotions that keep the false concept controlling us. Dissolve them and the false belief is completely diminished.

So how does it work?

When someone is angry they naturally direct their feeling of forgiveness into their feeling of anger. The two emotions must connect to be resolved. False beliefs though often have a couple of emotions that have to work together. Complicated but not impossible.

Gutap – The three steps described:
1 – Feel the feeling of your limiting belief. If you want to change your feelings you have to feel them. (Everyone already knows this step.)
2 – Insight: Find what the positive answer is that it actually wants you to know. What does your limited belief want you to know that is positive? What is the good thing it wants for you but trying in a negative way? (A slight shift on the insight people are seeking.)
3 – Connect the feeling of what it wants you to know and let the feeling of that answer flow into the feeling of your limiting belief to change it. The positive feelings changes it – not you.

That is as simply as I can put it.

Gutap by Toby Jensen (just google for more)