I think too many psychologists, sociologists and other experts have been encouraging us to indulge this tendency to stick with our own kind, through their constant trumpeting of how vital it is to have a social life.

Well, what do we do to get that social life? We make ourselves similar to others. Because that's what the research keeps saying is necessary for rapport and liking. We sell out our principles and best selves in a heartbeat, time and again, if we perceive doing that to jeopardize our social bonds.

Obviously, no social life should be worth throwing away your best, truest self and unique voice... but I'm pragmatic enough to know that going it alone is impossible for most people. So the only solution is to build inclusiveness into our social lives, so we don't have to choose between being connected and being true to ourselves.