Dear Johanne,
This is not a great place to give personal advice, but let me tell you that I am sorry about what you have suffered.
I do recommend that you read my book: Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship, which has a lot of info for after a breakup, too. Perhaps you could also ask your kids to read it, or read parts of it. I think it will give you a better understanding of what you went through, which will also help you communicate that journey to others, including your children.

It took you decades to understand and get free of the influence of your ex. Congrats! A nursing degree is a great achievement. In a year, you will not be sleeping on anyone's floor and your children will also have evolved in their thinking. Try to be patient and loving with them, if you can. Continued positive contact with you will help them see your side. It will take longer than you would like for them and others you know to understand.....But one by one, it WILL happen.

Have you been in a support group for women at a battered women's agency? Even if you were not a victim of physical assault, I think you would find such a group useful.

Feel free to send me a message privately as well....through my website, which you can find by googling my full name.
Wishing you the best.
Lisa Aronson Fontes