Tracey, it sounds like you have been through a lot. I can offer you four further suggestions to help with your recovery:
1) See if your local domestic violence agency has a support group that you can join. These can be incredibly healing. You do not have to go through this alone.
2) See if your local domestic violence agency can recommend an individual therapist or counselor who could help--someone who is familiar with abuse.
3) Read everything you can get your hands on related to this topic. Check out my other blog pieces and my book, Invisible Chains. Ask your local library to borrow a copy for you to read. Consult other books on the topic.
4) Some people enjoy joining a virtual community on Facebook. If you are on Facebook, you can put into the search "women overcoming violence" and similar terms. Perhaps you would enjoy that kind of online support from others who have had similar experiences. However, I don't think it is a substitute for counseling.

"Bitter and full of hatred" sounds like a terrible feeling. You do not need to stay in that position forever.
Wishing you the best,
Lisa