Women Who Stray

Notes on the history and current practice of female infidelity

David J. Ley Ph.D.

How Becoming a Sex Therapist Affects Personal Relationships

Becoming a sex therapist involves training and education that can impact a therapist's own personal intimate relationships.

Watching Porn May Increase Sexual Arousal With a Real Partner

Does watching porn make you less likely to get aroused with a real partner? Research testing couples in a lab finds that porn use actually predicts higher sex arousal.

Misuse and Abuse of the Term Grooming Hurts Victims

The exploitation of the term "grooming" has risks.

Sex Workers and Persons With Disabilities

Many persons with disabilities find that seeing sex work providers is an avenue to access often safe, affirmative, and healthy sexual expression.

Why Cuckolding Has Moved Into the Mainstream

As discussion of cuckolding has become more mainstream, we are seeing shifts in how it is practiced. Female and sexual minority voices are being empowered.

What Is Erotic Hypnosis—and Does It Work?

Erotic hypnosis may offer ways to embrace suggestibility to erotic arousal and overcome shame and disgust.

Male Sexual Dysfunction and COVID-19

A growing body of literature suggests that males, most at-risk for COVID, are also at great risk of experiencing lingering sexual dysfunction as result of infection.

Why Men's Sexual Functioning Differs in Solo vs. Partnered Sex

Men often have fewer sexual difficulties during solo sex than in partnered sex, but this doesn't mean anything is wrong, broken, or even problematic.

Does Affirmative Treatment Impair Sexual Response in Trans Youth?

Can trans youth experience sexual response as adults, or does early affirmative treatment affect their sexual development?

Why You Don't Actually Need "Closure"

When an ex tells you they "need closure," they're often telling you more about their need for control, revenge, and expression of their anger.

Was UK Mass Murderer Radicalized in Anti-Porn Groups?

New evidence suggests that UK mass killer Jake Davidson blamed porn and masturbation for his celibacy.

Why Certain Men Love Hearing About Their Wives' Sexual Past

Some find their wife's sexual past deeply arousing and request that they share even more.

Flattery Is Poor Therapy

Telling someone they are attractive changes the dynamics of your interactions. When it's a therapeutic relationship, this can be extremely damaging.

Do Couples Really Need Full Disclosure After Infidelity?

Compelling people who have engaged in infidelity to disclose everything sounds like a good idea. But is it?

Therapeutic Compersion

When our patients succeed in allowing joy into their lives, therapists also feel tremendous joy, because we know this is the start of a new life.

Is Watching Porn Right for You?

Research and headlines on the effects of pornography are confusing. How is it possible to sort out what effect it will have on you?

Compulsion, Anguish, and Castration

Castration plays a disturbing role in the desperate thinking of many men who fear their sexual compulsions.

The Cancel Mob Is Coming

Ask not for whom the cancel mob is coming; it comes for thee.

Why Do Straight Women Trust Gay Men More Than Other Women?

Intrasexual competition and other factors appear to influence who heterosexual women trust.

Consensual Non-Consent: Exploring Challenging Boundaries

Giving up the ability to use a safeword in kinky encounters.

The Victim Personality

Seeing oneself as a perpetual victim, always taken advantage of, may be a stable characteristic.

British High Court Rules on Puberty Blockers in Trans Kids

A British legal ruling challenges the view that puberty blocker medications are completely reversible.

Sex Therapists Are Not Sex Workers

Sex therapists commonly get requests for pretty wild stuff, but this email took the cake.

Are Therapists COVID-19 Hotspots?

Providing in-person psychotherapy right now may be an unacceptable risk for spreading COVID-19. Therapists need to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Surviving Childhood Adversity Builds Empathy in Adults

Childhood trauma creates wounds and scars. But it may also create pathways that lead to the development of empathy.

Performative Rage Over Pedophilia Doesn't Protect Kids

Most sexual abuse of children is committed by non-pedophiles. But moral panic seems to attend to the fantastical fears of secret pedophile cabals.

The Latest Conservative Cuckold Scandal

The Falwell scandal is an opportunity for Evangelical Christians to confront, and change, their sexual hypocrisy.

The (Male) Psychology of Harem Fiction

Harem fiction explores male characters with multiple female lovers and wives. The surprising popularity of these books reveals male sexual psychology.

No, Abstinence Won't Increase Your Testosterone

Claims that testosterone is increased by abstinence are based on rather poor science, and seem unlikely to be accurate.

3 Ways to Meet Your Partner’s Sexual Ideals and Why You Should

Valuing your partner's sexual needs, even when you can't meet them, reduces the chances they will feel unsatisfied and unhappy in your relationship.

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