Leaders, It’s Not Your Job to Fix Conflict

This post was co-authored with Ronald E. Pizzo.

Here’s a controversial statement for leaders: It’s not your job to fix conflict. This statement is usually received with some doubt, confusion, and resistance. A common follow-up question from leaders is, “If fixing isn’t my job, then what am I supposed to do?”

Most leaders want to do the right thing. They want to do what is best for the team and the organization. When they see a problem, they want to fix it. And when they have the fix, they want to implement the solution. Though this makes sense, unfortunately, solutions are often met with resistance.

Teams are made up of real people—and real people don’t like to be told what to do and will often do the opposite. This is a real cognitive bias, observed in the research, called reactance: People would rather do the opposite of what someone is trying to make them do, even if they actually agree with the instruction. Typically, the more a leader uses a teach-and-tell strategy or attempts to persuade with facts and reason, the more the leader will run into greater resistance.

Here’s an example: One of us (RP) worked with a leader who was tasked with redesigning the entire office space. Years of haphazardly adding more space to the office resulted in a dysfunctional workspace. There were complaints and conflicts about the layout and whose office should be located where. To fix the problem, the leader hired an expert to design the optimal office space, which he then unveiled to the team: “Problem solved!”—or so he thought.

The "optimal solution" only intensified the conflict.

What could the leader with the office space problem have done differently? What would a conflict management approach have looked like?

A conflict management approach embraces a multiplicity of views. It is where leaders rely on trust-based and values-based leadership to resolve problems with the team. When there is more than one person in the room, there will be a multiplicity of ideas, perspectives, and needs. People want to be heard. Listening and understanding, as opposed to convincing and telling, is what makes people feel safe and included. When people feel safe, they can brainstorm, consider options, and find consensus even on solutions that might not be optimal for them.

A conflict management approach may have sounded something like this: "Our office layout does not work. How do we want to improve it? Would it be helpful to hire a design expert to give us some ideas?" The leader could have listened to the team and brought all their points of view to the design expert. The team could have been presented with various options that reflected their input. We can remember that there is no perfect solution, only trade-offs. With that in mind, the team could have discussed what was most important, knowing not all needs would be met.

Conflict management is all about united differences based on respect. A leader committed to managing conflict does not avoid dissent or opposite views. In fact, we know that having diverse teams with diverse ideas and views leads to better decisions. A conflict management approach describes a relational process where people are appreciated and included in decision-making (where possible), and their views are respected. It doesn’t mean everyone gets their way. It means that everyone gets to feel heard and included. But when this happens, people are much more likely to accept the final decision, even if it wasn’t their first choice. It is a perspective where even difficult decisions are based on respect and inclusion.

Not every decision can be made using a conflict management approach. There are, for example, exceptional urgent times when decisions have to be taken immediately. However, a team is more likely to be understanding and accepting of those decisions made in times of crisis if they have generally been managed with appreciation, inclusion, and respect when it is not a crisis.

So back to the question: As a leader if I’m not a fixer, then what am I to do? Take a conflict management approach. Bring the problem instead of the solution. Focus on listening more than convincing. Focus on respect and inclusion rather than teach and tell. By embracing a diversity of views, we can actually come to greater consensus and agreement.

This work was funded by the Government of Canada’s Workplace Harassment and Violence Prevention Fund in collaboration with Saint Mary’s University (SMU).

Ronald E. Pizzo is a labour and employment lawyer, certified facilitator, mediator, and coach. His work includes human rights law, workplace harassment investigations, and occupational health and safety law.