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Targeted Parenting

Breaking the cycles that almost broke us, parenting through and with trauma.

"Mom rage can feel overwhelming and shameful, but it doesn’t mean you're a bad parent. If no one taught you how to regulate big emotions, it’s not your fault—but you can learn. Healing starts with awareness, self-compassion, and the right tools to break the cycle."
Anger
Maybe It's Not "Mom Rage." Maybe it's a Trauma Response

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on March 3, 2025

If you're a parent who experienced trauma and now struggles with "mom rage," you’re not broken or bad. Here's how you can start to heal, break the cycle, and parent with more calm.

If you're a parent who experienced trauma and now struggles with "mom rage," you’re not broken or bad. Here's how you can start to heal, break the cycle, and parent with more calm.

Toxic family systems make themselves the aribters of reality - and that can make recovery difficult.
Trauma
What Every Survivor Desperately Wants But Rarely Gets

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on February 16, 2025

Shari Franke never has to wonder if her past was real—her abusers were exposed. Most survivors don't get that. Here’s why that validation is so powerful.

Shari Franke never has to wonder if her past was real—her abusers were exposed. Most survivors don't get that. Here’s why that validation is so powerful.

Think your childhood loss makes you a poor attachment figure? Research shows that the opposite is true. You may be more capable of bonding, and more motivated to do so.
Parenting
Your Trauma May Be a Parenting Superpower

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on February 13, 2025

Think childhood trauma makes you a less capable parent? Science says otherwise. Your past may have shaped you into a more attuned, resilient, and connected caregiver.

Think childhood trauma makes you a less capable parent? Science says otherwise. Your past may have shaped you into a more attuned, resilient, and connected caregiver.

Sharenting is effective at getting clicks and engagement. But at what cost? Shari Franke's searing new memoir is a cautionary tale that we should all heed before posting kids online.
Parenting
The Slippery Slope of Sharenting

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on February 9, 2025

Sharenting seems harmless, but is it? Algorithms reward oversharing—but at what cost to our kids? Learn why protecting their privacy is more important than ever.

Sharenting seems harmless, but is it? Algorithms reward oversharing—but at what cost to our kids? Learn why protecting their privacy is more important than ever.

Parenting
Is Parenting the New Smoking?

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on January 30, 2025

The surgeon general's advisory on parental stress leaves many of us wanting practical solutions for our stress. Can we help parents with that stress, or is naming it enough?

The surgeon general's advisory on parental stress leaves many of us wanting practical solutions for our stress. Can we help parents with that stress, or is naming it enough?

Tiger parenting is often more of a trauma response than it is a parenting practice. It's tempting to use rubrics like grades or attendance records to stand in for parenting discernment. Let's analyze it as an attempt at protection, not a 'parenting style.'
Parenting
Is Wanting to Be a Tiger Mom a Trauma Response?

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on January 24, 2025

Tiger parenting is rooted in trauma. Let's explore how high-pressure parenting reflects love, fear, and survival instincts—and the key to balancing protection with connection.

Tiger parenting is rooted in trauma. Let's explore how high-pressure parenting reflects love, fear, and survival instincts—and the key to balancing protection with connection.

Maybe you're not lazy. Maybe you're carrying an invisible burden that makes reaching each goal much more exhausting.
Trauma
Maybe You're Not Lazy. Maybe It's a Trauma Response

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on January 21, 2025

Do you feel "lazy" and struggle to stick to goals? It may not be your fault—trauma impacts your brain and energy. Learn how to reframe, heal, and take compassionate steps forward.

Do you feel "lazy" and struggle to stick to goals? It may not be your fault—trauma impacts your brain and energy. Learn how to reframe, heal, and take compassionate steps forward.

Are you a true extravert? Or are you desperately seeking the "attachment nutrient" of feeling seen and soothed in the social environment?
Extroversion
Maybe You're Not an Extravert. Maybe It's a Trauma Response.

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on December 31, 2024

If being alone is terrifying, you may not be a true extravert. You may instead be fleeing childhood feelings of abandonment. That's OK—as long as you learn how to handle loneliness.

If being alone is terrifying, you may not be a true extravert. You may instead be fleeing childhood feelings of abandonment. That's OK—as long as you learn how to handle loneliness.

Of course, risky play can be beneficial for kids, and, of course, discomfort isn't danger. But it's difficult for those of us who have experienced trauma and loss to embrace that in our parenting. Here's why.
Parenting
Afraid to Allow Your Kid to Take Risks? Here's Why

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on December 3, 2024

Personal Perspective: Jonathan Haidt criticizes "safetyism" in parenting. We know that risky play is good. But those of us with a trauma history have a harder time with risk.

Personal Perspective: Jonathan Haidt criticizes "safetyism" in parenting. We know that risky play is good. But those of us with a trauma history have a harder time with risk.

Meltdowns are a feature, not a bug, of toddler development. Don't try to avoid them, use them to teach kids social competencies.
Parenting
I’m Not Lying: This Is the Worst Parenting Hack Ever

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on November 27, 2024

Using ChatGPT to lie to kids is the newest social media "parenting hack." Parenting by lying is always a bad idea—and it also deprives us of important teaching opportunities.

Using ChatGPT to lie to kids is the newest social media "parenting hack." Parenting by lying is always a bad idea—and it also deprives us of important teaching opportunities.

Parenting
Olympic-Level Conversations With Kids

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on August 4, 2024

Many post-traumatic parents wish they knew how to have impactful conversations with their kids. The Olympics offers a great time to start. Here's why, and what to talk about.

Many post-traumatic parents wish they knew how to have impactful conversations with their kids. The Olympics offers a great time to start. Here's why, and what to talk about.

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Magazine
March 2025 magazine cover
March 2025
Are You Too Nice?

Being overly polite might seem kind, but it often leads to problems anyway, in relationships, with friends, and at work.

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Self Tests
Self Tests

Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.