Post-Stroke Body Image: 'I’m Tired of Hating My Own Body'

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Your body image is how you see yourself when you look in a mirror or when you visualize yourself in your mind. It includes your thoughts and beliefs about your appearance and your emotions about how you feel about your body and experience it. Simply put, it’s your perception of your physical self and your thoughts and feelings about how you look. These can be positive, negative, or both.

Many of us experience physical changes following a stroke and this can lead to a negative body image. Among other effects, I lost a lot of weight after my stroke and my skin sagged. I felt ugly and undesirable, embarrassed, and lacked confidence.

Having a negative body image can lead to low self-esteem, poor quality of life, and mental health challenges such as depression. You may become focused only on the things about yourself that you dislike and compare yourself to others. These are all serious consequences of having a negative body image. So, the question is: What to do about it?

Strategies for Changing Course

One blog post is not going to provide a magical solution to turn your negative body image into a positive one, but it could provide you with some healthier ways of viewing yourself and your body. Hopefully, the more you practice these strategies, the better you will begin to feel.

• Write down a list of things you like about yourself. They don’t need to be about your looks, but anything that you like about yourself. This can be as simple as “I like my smile,” or “I think I am funny,” or “I am a good organizer.” Continue to add to this list as you become more mindful of things you like about yourself. Pin these affirmations up on a wall where you can see them every day. This will help you to begin to focus on the positives, not the negatives. Since we tend to be our own worst critics, changing this mindset is a great starting place.
• Appreciate what your body can do. A stroke can affect many functions of your body, and this can be a harsh blow. It is only natural to focus on what we can no longer do and, of course, grieve the loss of these functions and the effects they have on our daily lives. However, over time, try to begin to appreciate the things your body can still do or the newly-found talents you have discovered. Since every stroke is unique and we are all affected differently, this may be more challenging for some. Again, the goal is to change the focus from the negatives to the positives. There may be things that you’ve never even considered, such as laughing, bird watching while strolling on a nature trail, or creating artistic media pieces, etc.
• View yourself as a whole person. You are more than what you see in the mirror. There are so many other things that make you you: Your determination, sense of humour, compassion, empathy, generosity, integrity, loyalty, kindness, sincerity, friendliness, and on and on, showcase you for who you really are. Learn to view yourself as you want others to see you—as a whole person. Remember, true beauty is only skin deep.
• Stop avoiding your body. Face up to your body and get to know it. The more you learn to acknowledge and accept it the way it is, the more your body image is likely to improve.
• Where possible, consider strategies to improve the area(s) that have a negative impact on your body image. Work with your body and not against it.
• Do something nice for yourself. Be kind to yourself. Take a nap, listen to music, read a book, watch a movie—anything that offers you joy and helps you escape the negative thoughts.
• Stop comparing yourself to others. This includes resisting the temptation to compare your body to how it was pre-stroke. These are dangerous pitfalls almost guaranteed to have a negative effect on your body image.
• Surround yourself with positive people. When you have people around you who are supportive and love you just the way you are, it is easier to feel good about yourself.
• Don’t allow the opinions of others to affect how you feel about yourself. Self-love is vital, and we all need to learn to appreciate ourselves and be our own cheerleaders.
• Practice self-acceptance. Having a negative body image is like having a constant derogatory critic living inside of your head, always ready to make a nasty comment. Try to become more aware of this critic and slowly learn to ignore and banish it. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful, and a therapist trained in this area can be beneficial in guiding you to identify these harmful thinking patterns.