My Side of the Couch

Information, inspiration, and support for families afflicted by BPD and other personality disorders.

Daniel S. Lobel Ph.D.

Male BPD and Jealousy

Does your partner often wrongly accuse you of infidelity? He may be struggling with symptoms of male BPD jealousy.

Love your feelings: Love yourself

“Negative Emotions”: Enemy or Friend?

Do you struggle with “negative emotions”? Make them your friend.

BPD v. NPD

Self-Love and Loathing in Borderline and Narcissistic PD

Can you tell the difference between borderline and narcissistic personality disorders? On this important dimension, they are opposite.

Blaming others fixes nothing. It just makes them feel bad.

A Culture Obsessed With Blame

Are you caught up in the blame game? You can do better.

You can love someone who thinks differently from you.

Do You Get Angry at People When They Disagree with You?

Are you tolerant of others? See if you've got what it takes.

Are you making yourself sicker?

Enabling Borderline Personality Disorder II

Are you making your BPD worse? Take healing and growth into your own hands.

Helping or enabling? Sometimes hard to tell.

Enabling Borderline Personality Disorder

Are you hurting those whom you are trying to help? Learn how to maximize your effectiveness.

Self-victimization is a major obstacle for many.

Why Do People with BPD Self-Victimize?

Do you know someone who embraces being a victim rather seeking to become a survivor? If so, you may know someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Expressions of Anger Cause Fear, Not Attraction

Is It OK to Express Your Anger?

Do you think it is healthy to express anger to the ones you love? Think again.

A family is not just a group of people who share DNA.

Why Some Families Laugh Together and Others Fight

Is your family competitive or cooperative? How to increase cooperation with a few minor changes.

Free Your Mind

How to Free Yourself of Misplaced Guilt

Are you tired of feeling guilty all the time? Free yourself from misplaced guilt.

To think or not to think

Does Thinking About Problems Make Them Better?

Does thinking make your head hurt? You need to learn to think more healthily.

Being well is being in balance

Selfishness and Selflessness and Intimacy

Is "selfish" really a bad word?

Letting others hurt you does make you feel close to them.

Being an Adult Child of a Mother With BPD

Do you let people hurt or take advantage of you? Learn how to be close to people without paying too big of a price.

How do you speak to the one's you love?

How BPD Causes Lashing Out at Family and Friends

Do you push people away while you are trying to be close to them? A different way of expressing yourself will yield a better result.

What did I do wrong?

Why BPD Causes Lashing Out at Family and Friends

Do you know someone who lashes out at you without warning and then wonders why you have withdrawn from them? If so, this person may have BPD. Read on to find out why this happens.

I wish you could understand how I feel

Living With a Husband with Borderline Personality Disorder

Does your husband express his feelings to you in hurtful ways? Learn how to understand and address his feelings without hurtful acting out.

Let me hear you

Living With a Wife with Borderline Personality Disorder

If you are having trouble understanding your partner, you may not be hearing what is not said. Sometimes what is not said is more important than what is.

Who am I?

The Mystery and Complexity of Personality Disorders Revealed

Find out how personality affects the way we see the world and relate to others. Take this journey with me on "My Side of the Couch."