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This is an updated version of an article I wrote in 2014.
Between now and Dec. 25, life seems to center around Christmas. An agnostic, let alone an atheist, can feel like an outsider.
Some atheists don’t mind that, even welcome it. They prefer to be far from the madding crowd.
But for the atheist and agnostic who want to feel included and to experience Christmas’s benefits (described below) without having to feign allegiance to some omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent deity and his purported son, here are some thoughts:
Louai Bilal, psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente, believes that most religious people harbor doubts about a deity's existence. They merely take solace in the possibility and act as though God exists—aspiring to the well-lived life that Christianity, indeed, all religions espouse. Aren’t such people worthy of your respect?
Once you accept that respecting religious people doesn’t violate your integrity, it’s easier to enter into Christmas activities without the antipathy felt and even displayed by some atheists and agnostics.
For example, you can enjoy Christmas caroling. So what if you have to sing Oh Come All Ye Faithful? Carols are fun to sing with friends at a party, perhaps strolling the streets serenading the neighbors. Don’t worry. That’s not actually making you "Come let us adore him, Christ the Lord."
This may be pushing it but if you attend Midnight Mass at a church known for doing it wonderfully, even a staunch atheist should be able to enjoy it—In a building of architectural wonder, you get to experience some of the most exalted music. People’s religious faith has inspired the likes of the Hallelujah Chorus, Bach’s B Minor Mass, Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring, Amazing Grace, Beethoven’s Ode to Joy, and Mozart's Requiem.
Of course, you needn’t to go to church to experience Christmas music. Radio stations are replete with it and it wouldn’t kill you to buy some great Christmas music. My favorite albums: A Pentatonix Christmas, Michael Buble Christmas, Singers Unlimited Christmas, Mannheim Steamroller Christmas, David Huntsinger's Sentimental Season, Christmas with the Dale Warland Singers, and Barbra Streisand’s A Classic Christmas Album.
Many Christians go all out to decorate their homes, inside and out. There’s no arguing with the simple pleasure of looking at them.
These days, some people feel uncomfortable with materialism but around the holidays, even zealous environmentalists will likely bestow a pass, especially if the gifts are locally produced, sustainable, organic, with a minimum carbon footprint---perhaps tofu cookies made with gluten-free, non-GMO flour and carob chips, produced by union labor. If that doesn't appeal, how about one of the "23 gifts for the psychologically attuned" to people you care about or for yourself:
The relentless stream of Christmas---oops, holiday—parties provides the year’s best networking opportunities. Just don’t be crass about it. For example, asking for a job or even a job lead puts too much pressure on the person, even if it weren’t the Christmas season. Ask for a job, you’ll get advice. Ask for advice, you may get a job.
It’s easier to be religious than not. That’s not just because religious people have more kindred spirits, it’s because religion cushions against life’s slings and arrows. You, the atheist or agnostic, may not be able to believe in a deity but may find inspiration in religion’s core principle: that humans should aspire to something larger than quotidian tasks. The Christmas season reminds us of that.
May you aspire beyond the quotidian this, um, year-end.
Marty Nemko's newest book, his 8th, is The Best of Marty Nemko. He is a career and personal coach. He can be reached at mnemko@comcast.net.
