College Transition: Emptying the Nest to Flocking Together

A student’s transition to college can be a time of great pride and excitement. This period of change can be challenging for new students and family members. Students have opportunities for insight and growth. Parents and other primary caretakers can experience a newfound sense of freedom, with opportunities to reconnect with their partners and friends, engage in self-care, and pursue new interests. Bonds between college students and siblings may strengthen due to less conflict.

Students transitioning to college may feel a sense of loss when leaving friends or romantic partners and may question who they are away from their families. These losses may impact their ability to manage coursework, participate in extracurricular activities, and establish and maintain new relationships (Miller & Servaty-Seib, 2016).

Parents may experience “empty nest syndrome” and grieve the changes happening. They may feel anxious and depressed and question who they are as they navigate relationship changes with their college student, partner, other children, and aging parents (Mount & Moas, 2015). Parents may need to be mindful of their desire to be overprotective and expect overachievement in their children (Beresin, 2025).

Dr. Erin Anderson-Camenzind, Professor of Communication Studies and Director of Faculty Innovation for the 4D Experience at the University of Denver, joins in to offer practical communication strategies to ease the transition to college.

During the transition to college, how can families communicate to support one another to boost their individual and relational well-being? Drawing on strategies for enhancing opportunities for feelings of belonging (Wise, 2022), new students, parents, siblings, and other family members can try the following communication strategies:

Establish and Update Rituals

Rituals are voluntary, patterned, and recurring communication events that family members use to honor what they find most important. Most family rituals need to be updated over time, such as during the college transition. Consider ways to adapt old rituals or create new opportunities for family togetherness, fun, and adventure as students transition to college (Braithwaite, 2022).

Ideas include:

• Attend family weekend, homecoming, or a big game or concert held on campus.
• Have a meal with students’ roommates before leaving for break.
• Share a picture, funny memory, or caring words in a group text on each person’s birthday.
• Map out dates and plans for family experiences during the students’ time at college (e.g., family hikes, camping trips, volunteering at a local foodbank).

Family rituals are most successful when all family members are involved in planning. This keeps the burden from falling on only one person. Be sure family members put the dates in their calendars and send reminders.

Try on New Roles

Students experience a newfound sense of independence and responsibility in college. Caregivers may find it difficult to move away from giving advice and enforcing rules. They may need to learn to communicate with their college student in ways that help them become more independent and recognize the changes in their relationship.

Ideas include:

• Stress that the student will be responsible for reaching out to faculty and staff members for assistance. Parents can be “on call” to support as needed.
• Share any challenges and failures experienced during this time of transition, sending the message that we don’t expect to be perfect all the time.
• Ask one another for advice based on learning, expertise, and life experiences.
• Talk with one another about new hobbies and activities that are bringing meaning and purpose.

Create Schedules and Rhythms

College students and families are busy, and finding time to connect can be difficult. Create timelines and patterns that provide certainty around when and how families will next interact and gather. Communication planning can reduce anxiety, stress, and fear.

Ideas include:

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• Hold a weekly call or video chat on a specific day and time when the student is available and most family members can attend.
• Send care packages with the student’s favorite candy, gift cards, self-care items, and notes from family members, especially at the start of classes and during finals week.
• Coordinate around financial deadlines.

Experiment With Communication for Family Members

Communicating to support student and family well-being during the transition to college is not a one-size-fits-all-families pursuit! Families will need to figure out what works for individual students, family members, communication styles, schedules, and cultures.

Ideas include:

• Resist jumping into problem-solving mode when the college student is stressed and anxious. Try simply listening. Use statements that reflect the student is being heard, such as “that sounds like it’s really stressful,” “Ugh, that’s awful!” or “I’m sorry you are going through this.” Encourage students to be clear about when they do and don’t want advice and assistance.
• Find alternate ways to communicate. For instance, send a photo, a funny meme, a quick text of news, or encouragement. For those who are not “phone or video people,” consider sending cards, handwritten letters, or small packages.
• Find ways to keep each other posted on small and big news to stay connected and reduce worry.
• Respect students’ privacy and the need to make and learn from missteps.

Experiment With Communication for New College Students

Students will learn to succeed in college and prepare for their future by taking the initiative and managing their own tasks.

Ideas include:

• Reach out to faculty, staff, advisors, and the financial aid office directly for help.
• Seek support from campus mental health service providers if needed.
• Let family members know what you need (and don’t need) from them.
• Make wise choices about social media use, including privacy controls, to manage personal information and access.

The transition to college is a family communication challenge and opportunity that takes creativity and experimentation. Don’t be surprised if students, parents, and other family members need to change how they communicate. Build a check-in opportunity around any new communication strategies to see what is working. With practice, the strategies we’ve mentioned have the potential to allow family members not just to survive the transition, but to thrive as they reinforce and strengthen individual and family well-being.