From Charm to Harm

Relationships

Healthy Compromise or Self-Betrayal?

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on July 13, 2023

Are you giving away too much of yourself in your relationship? Here are 6 practices to find a balance between compromise and self-sacrifice.

Are you giving away too much of yourself in your relationship? Here are 6 practices to find a balance between compromise and self-sacrifice.

Friends

Recognizing the Effects of a Controlling Relationship

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on June 20, 2022

Are you twisting yourself into a pretzel to keep up with your partner's unreasonable expectations? Here are eight ways to untwist.

Are you twisting yourself into a pretzel to keep up with your partner's unreasonable expectations? Here are eight ways to untwist.

Embarrassment

Recognizing the Pain of Emotional Invalidation

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on May 23, 2022

Does your partner deny your feelings? Understand that your feelings matter and people who care about you should feel the same way.

Does your partner deny your feelings? Understand that your feelings matter and people who care about you should feel the same way.

Child Development

Childhood Pain Can Lead to Adult Relationship Abuse

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on August 31, 2020

Are you trying to understand your partner's abusive behavior? Ask him about his childhood.

Are you trying to understand your partner's abusive behavior? Ask him about his childhood.

Embarrassment

Emotional Abuse Is a Key Sign of Toxic Shame

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on July 31, 2020

Does your partner profess to love you yet treat you with disregard and contempt? Stop blaming the trouble on yourself.

Does your partner profess to love you yet treat you with disregard and contempt? Stop blaming the trouble on yourself.

Emotional Abuse

The Real Reasons for Emotional Abuse and What to Do About It

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on June 9, 2020

Are you exhausted from your partner's abusive behavior? You don't have to feel stuck anymore.

Are you exhausted from your partner's abusive behavior? You don't have to feel stuck anymore.

Relationships

Victim Blaming: A Tactic for Avoiding Emotional Intimacy

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on May 15, 2020

Does your partner twist the facts and blame you for things that aren't your fault? Find out why blaming can be a sign of a bigger issue in your relationship.

Does your partner twist the facts and blame you for things that aren't your fault? Find out why blaming can be a sign of a bigger issue in your relationship.

Caregiving

When Elderly Parents Are Abusive

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on April 10, 2020

Are your elderly parents making it difficult for you to take care of them? Take care of yourself first.

Are your elderly parents making it difficult for you to take care of them? Take care of yourself first.

Relationships

Is It a Love Spat or Emotional Abuse?

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on April 29, 2019

Is turmoil in your relationship wearing you out? A closer look at the trouble could be very revealing.

Is turmoil in your relationship wearing you out? A closer look at the trouble could be very revealing.

Emotional Abuse

How Much Conflict Is Normal in a Relationship?

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on March 30, 2017

Are you confused about all the turmoil in your relationship? Frequent conflict with your partner could indicate hidden emotional abuse.

Are you confused about all the turmoil in your relationship? Frequent conflict with your partner could indicate hidden emotional abuse.

Relationships

How to Protect Yourself in a Difficult Relationship

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on March 2, 2017

Compassionate detachment can protect you from painful relationships.

Compassionate detachment can protect you from painful relationships.

Are you trying to help a loved one in an emotionally abusive relationship? Know the difference between effective helping and making the situation worse.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse Exposed: Part IV

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on August 18, 2016

Does Your Partner Do and Say Things That Hurt You? Be aware of subtle attacks on your self-esteem.

Does Your Partner Do and Say Things That Hurt You? Be aware of subtle attacks on your self-esteem.

Emotional Abuse

Denying and Minimizing is No Way to Cope

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on June 15, 2015

Confronting the truth in an emotionally abusive relationship is not easy. Often victims allow the abuse to continue because they are full of self-doubt and self-blame. If you feel bad about yourself in your relationship, you may be denying and minimizing the truth about your mate. Mistreatment is never the fault of the victim.

Confronting the truth in an emotionally abusive relationship is not easy. Often victims allow the abuse to continue because they are full of self-doubt and self-blame. If you feel bad about yourself in your relationship, you may be denying and minimizing the truth about your mate. Mistreatment is never the fault of the victim.

Tolerating your partner's disrespectful treatment to get along only makes things worse. Standing up for yourself is best for you and your partner.

Forgiveness

Moodiness Is a Key Sign of Controlling Behavior

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on April 6, 2015

Moodiness is a key symptom of controlling behavior. Tolerating your partner's moods only encourages the moodiness.

Moodiness is a key symptom of controlling behavior. Tolerating your partner's moods only encourages the moodiness.

Anger

Emotional Abuse Exposed: Part III

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on March 7, 2015

Healthy anger is okay. Manipulative anger is not okay. Know the difference and avoid encouraging controlling behavior in your relationships.

Healthy anger is okay. Manipulative anger is not okay. Know the difference and avoid encouraging controlling behavior in your relationships.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse Exposed: Part II

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on February 20, 2015

Emotional Abuse Exposed is an ongoing series that provides a language to spot and describe hidden emotional abuse.
Knowing how to recognize controlling tactics and their effects leads to protection and healing.

Emotional Abuse Exposed is an ongoing series that provides a language to spot and describe hidden emotional abuse.
Knowing how to recognize controlling tactics and their effects leads to protection and healing.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse Exposed: Part I

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on February 4, 2015

Controlling and manipulative tactics can be hard to recognize in intimate relationships. You may believe your partner has your best interests in mind. But something doesn't feel right and you can't put your finger on it. Find out how to spot hidden emotional abuse and better understand the effects on the victim. Exposing abuse can lead to stopping it.

Controlling and manipulative tactics can be hard to recognize in intimate relationships. You may believe your partner has your best interests in mind. But something doesn't feel right and you can't put your finger on it. Find out how to spot hidden emotional abuse and better understand the effects on the victim. Exposing abuse can lead to stopping it.

Emotional Abuse

Spotting and Describing Hidden Emotional Abuse

Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC on January 14, 2015

Know how to spot and describe hidden emotional abuse. Exposing abuse leads to protection and healing.

Know how to spot and describe hidden emotional abuse. Exposing abuse leads to protection and healing.