Adolescence
Adolescence is generally defined as the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood that occurs between ages 13 and 19, although the physical and psychological changes that take place in this period often start earlier, during the preteen or "tween" years of ages 9 to 12.
The purpose of adolescence is for a child to psychologically and socially transform into a young adult. Breaking from their childhood attachment and security allows young people to acquire the freedom and responsibility they need to develop independence, differentiate themselves from their parents, and establish their own unique identity.
What Is Adolescence?
Adolescence can be a time of both disorientation and discovery. The transitional period can raise questions of independence and identity; as adolescents cultivate their sense of self, they may face difficult choices about academics, friendship, sexuality, gender identity, drugs, and alcohol.
Most teens have a relatively egocentric perspective on life; a state of mind that usually abates with age. They often focus on themselves and believe that everyone else—from a best friend to a distant crush—is focused on them too. They may therefore grapple with insecurities and feelings of being judged. Relationships with family members often take a backseat to peer groups, romantic interests, and appearance during adolescence, as teens may perceive these areas as increasingly important.
The transitions of adolescence can naturally lead to anxiety about physical development, evolving relationships with others, and one's place in the larger world. Mild anxiety and other challenges are typical, but serious mental health conditions may also emerge during adolescence. Addressing a disorder early on can help ensure the best possible outcome.
The stages of adolescence include early adolescence from ages 10 to 14, mid-adolescence from ages 15 to 17, and late adolescence from ages 18 to 24. Each stage encompasses different challenges for teens and necessitates different responses from parents.
Puberty can begin between the ages of 9 and 15 and lasts between a year and a half and three years. The hormonal and biological changes that occur can lead adolescents to feel anxious and self-conscious, require more privacy, and become preoccupied with their appearance, which can influence how they are perceived and accepted.
Adolescent risk-taking is often blamed on hormonal changes, but relationships play a key role as well. The teenage years are devoted to creating friendships that can serve them for life, and research confirms that during this period, adolescents are motivated by peer acceptance more than adult perceptions—often leading to risky or poor decisions made when seeking acceptance or reacting to peer pressure.
The biological clock shifts during puberty, prompting teens to become sleepy later and wake up later. This is why later middle- and high-school start times are associated with improved attendance and grades as well as a lower likelihood of experiencing depression.
How Do I Talk to My Teen?
Speaking openly with teens about the changes they are experiencing can be a challenge for any parent, especially given the shifts in the parent-child relationship during adolescence.
One important component of communicating with teens is helping them understand what lies ahead. Explaining how their bodies will change so that they aren’t caught by surprise can alleviate a child’s anxiety, but beyond physical changes, parents can begin a conversation about social and lifestyle changes as well. Discussing the consequences of important decisions—like having sex or experimenting with drugs—can encourage a teen to reflect on their choices. Even if adolescents don't appear to be listening in the moment, or seem to dismiss parental concerns, the messages may still be received and eventually influence decision-making.
Listening can be a powerful tool during these years. Parents often orient toward presenting directives and solutions. But setting aside those tendencies and simply listening to a teen can strengthen the relationship. Asking specific or prying questions can make a child feel judged and therefore hesitant to speak openly and honestly. Listening attentively shows interest, validation, and support. It also increases the chances that a teen will confide in a parent in more challenging moments.
Developing an independent identity during adolescence requires experimenting with new relationships and activities while establishing some distance from parents. But you can still maintain a close relationship during this process. Express interest and ask questions about your teen’s new passions. Welcome their friends and provide family structure. And in disciplinary situations, critique choices rather than character.
Make it clear that you are open to discussing anything, including sexual health, porn, pleasure, and love. During these conversations, listen openly and non-judgmentally. Shutting down a vulnerable adolescent with negativity or judgment can lead to shame and fear. Being open encourages them to trust you with future questions and to develop healthy attitudes around sex.
Most teens will experiment with alcohol, drug use, or smoking—or all three. But parents can inform, if not influence, the choices young people make with guidance, such as that the decision to use should be intentional, not automatic, and that it should be a personal choice, not a response to social pressure. Parents should discuss these topics openly, honestly, and continually.
Encourage adolescents to share their feelings as a way of easing their emotional burden—even if it’s not with you. Exploring the root of their unhappiness can also lead them to take action: If they’re bored, maybe they can find a new hobby or sport.
How Does Mental Health Change During Adolescence?
Many of the mental health conditions people confront as adults begin to manifest in adolescence. One in five young people in the U.S. has been diagnosed with a mental, emotional, or behavioral health condition by age 17, and one in five young adults also report having recent feelings of anxiety or depression, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Teens can also struggle with anxiety, depression, and other forms of distress that are developmentally appropriate and will not necessarily endure. It’s difficult for parents or teens to know when a problem merits clinical attention, but when in doubt, querying a school counselor or another mental health professional is the best course of action.
Parents can help by learning to identify early warning signs of a disorder they may be concerned about—and by not being afraid to ask their child about their thoughts and experiences. Confronting mental health conditions and accessing treatment early on can prevent a disorder from increasing in severity or duration because, when addressed early, most conditions can be managed or treated effectively.
The American Psychological Association has reported that 91 percent of Generation Z has felt physical or emotional symptoms of stress, such as depression or anxiety. Part of this stress, some experts suggest, may be due to parental trends like overscheduling, the effects of social media such as negative social comparisons, and societal concerns like economic downturns and mass shootings.
Parents can care for their teens by offering empathy and nonjudgmental support—in other words, focus on understanding them rather than judging them. Teens achieve more when not pressured to be perfect, so parents could try to resist expressing the need or desire for perfection. Maintaining a steady relationship with a teen and encouraging their relationships with other caring adults like teachers and mentors can also be helpful.
At least one in three first-year college students meets the criteria for a mental health disorder, research suggests. An array of factors can contribute to the onset of mental illness during this time: the transition to college, childhood trauma, biological changes, financial stress, academic pressure, lack of sleep, social isolation, and uncertainty about the future.
Encourage your child to seek out university mental health services. If the college is unable to provide treatment due to high demand, your child can explore meeting with other health professionals on campus, like a doctor or nurse practitioner, asking an advisor or case manager to help find care off-campus, or beginning teletherapy.
Pinning down the relationship between social media use and mental health is notoriously difficult. Some recent research suggests that, at least among adolescent girls, social media itself doesn’t fuel depression; instead, depression may lead to more social media use.
