Stay Well

Make sure they are getting enough sleep and that they are eating correctly, doing exercise regularly, avoiding health hazards, and having regular checkups.

Lower Your Stress

Every so often, stop all that doing for a bit. Perhaps the In Box is empty, the baby's asleep, and the bills are in the mail. The urgency of the daily round falls away and a quiet fills the air. Thoughts slow down, no longer grabbed and jostled by tasks. There is presence in this moment, and no worries about the future.

Being at Peace With the Pain of Others

When you recognize the truth of others' pain, it is strangely calming. You still care about the other person, and you do what you can, but you see that this pain and its causes are a tiny part of a larger and mostly impersonal whole.

Be Amazed

Try to see more of your world as if you are seeing it for the first time, perhaps through the eyes of a child. If you're not amazed, you're not paying attention. If we were brave enough to be more often filled with wonder and surprise, we would treat ourselves, others, and our fragile world more gently.

Be Mind Full of Good

Believe in realistic thinking, seeing the whole mosaic of reality, the good, the bad and the neutral. Life is often hard - and because we've got a brain that's relatively poor at growing the inner strengths needed to deal with these challenges - we need to focus on the good facts in life, let them become good experiences, and then help these experiences really sink in.

Kindness to You Is Kindness to Me

Helping others helps you; helping yourself helps others. Similarly, harming others harms you; harming yourself harms others. By letting it really land inside you that we are deeply connected with each other.

Grow a Key Inner Strength

Use these four questions help grow inner strengths. 1) What's the issue? 2) What psychological resource - inner strength - if it were more present in your mind, would really help with this issue? 3) How could you have experiences of this inner strength? 4) How could you help this experience of the inner strength really sink in to you?

Feel Whole

With moments of practice that add up over time, you feel more like a whole person, less fragmented and partial, less yanked this way and that by competing desires in your head. As this happens, you feel more fed and fulfilled and thus less defended, less separated from others, less apart—and more connected, more entwined with the world as whole.

Love Freely

Compassion, empathy, kindness, friendship, cooperation, and generosity are all in our nature, woven into the DNA of the most social - and most loving - species on the planet. Love is a natural wellspring inside us all. It doesn't need to be pushed or pumped. It needs to be released.

Do Freely

The relentless pace of do-do-doing wears down mental and physical health. Instead, do what you need to do while also refreshing again and again a sense of choice about it. And if you can't feel at choice at some level about what you are doing, see if you can feel at choice about how you are experiencing it.

Rest in Center

When you feel anxious, sad, irritated, inadequate, or blue, there is a deeper place that is undisturbed, calm, strong, and wise: your center. As you deepen your sense of connection with this core of your being, you'll be more resilient, happier, and more at ease with others.

Relax Needless Fear Around Others

Most of the time, people could care less what you're doing - you are just a bit player in their own personal drama. Or if they do care, it's a passing feeling. Even if the other person reacts to you, most likely you could handle it fine. If there is something to deal with - a conflict, a betrayal - you can be clear-eyed and strong, without being anxious.

Enjoy the Freedom Not To

If you can't say "no" - to others, and to yourself - then your "yesses" will lose their meaning and power. Claiming for yourself the “freedom not to” will give you a feeling of ease, of room to breathe, of not needing to jump to some task or to agree or disagree immediately with someone.

Water Your Fruit Tree

There's usually a short list of things that really support a person. What's on your own list? Try to do one thing each day on this list, and feel the rewards for you and others. You will be "passing forward" a true gift to the person you will be tomorrow . . . and a year from now.

Choose to Love

Try to focus less on how others should be, and focus more on your own practice of finding your own genuine love. It's like strengthening your heart.

Accept Them as They Are

It is normal to wish that others were different, and to assert yourself in ethical and skillful ways. But problems come when we tip into righteousness, fault-finding, or badgering. See what it feels like to stop resisting what another person is like while also taking care of your own needs in the relationship. Acceptance is a gift that gives back.

Grow Inner Strengths

How you feel and act over the course of your life is determined by three factors: the challenges you face, the vulnerabilities these challenges grind on, and the strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities. Knowing how to wire these strengths into your own brain could be the most important thing you ever learn.

Accept It

It is easy to accept beautiful sunsets and golden prizes. It is the hard things in life that we find hard to accept. The sweet spot is both to do what you can to improve things while also accepting the fact that they are what they are. An easing will come into your heart, a softening, and a clarity.

Relax, You're Going to be Criticized

Being social animals, criticism naturally stings - but then we add to the pain with jabs at ourselves or others. When criticism does come, will it actually be the terrible experience you dread? Usually not. Try to roll with it, take what's useful, learn and move on.

Enjoy Sobriety

Think of sobriety in terms of the big picture, and in the context of a life well-lived. You probably know when you go too far, and where you need to establish a more wholesome balance. Sobriety is not a loss but a gain - of health, self-respect, an unclouded mind, peace with others, and the bliss of blamelessness.

Accept Dependence

It is natural to need others. We are frail, soft, vulnerable, and hungry for love. When you let in this truth, you will not be so hard on yourself or others. Accepting your inherent dependence brings you into harmony with the way life is.

Get Out of the War

Conflicts with others are a normal part of human life (along with many other parts, including empathy, cooperation, altruism, and love). We need to be able to stand up for ourselves, deal with tough things and change what's wrong and stick up for what's right. But if we do this while swept away by anger, that's not good for us or others.

Accept Difficulty

The more difficult your life, the more you need to take care of yourself. Know that difficulties will come and go but your own good qualities and good things in life will remain.

Come to Center

Try to remember to quit chasing the brass ring. Stay engaged with life, return to the reliable rewards of feeling already full by savoring pleasure, move, get wild, enjoy art, feel the core, be in the now, get disenchanted.

Be Helpful

We all know that the needs in this world are great. And so are the opportunities to make a big difference to the ones we touch.

Transform Ill Will

Accept as a fact that people will sometimes mistreat you, whether accidentally or deliberately. This doesn’t mean enabling others to harm you, or failing to assert yourself. You’re just accepting the facts on the ground. Feel the hurt, the anger, the fear, but let them flow through you. If you view ill will as an affliction upon yourself, you'll be motivated to drop it.


Practice benevolence toward others, looking for good things in them. Engage in this practice to know what the act and the attitude of blessing feels like, and take in the experience of it so you can call upon it in the future.


Meditation is the quintessential training of attention. Since attention is like a vacuum cleaner - sucking its contents into your brain through what's called "experience-dependent neuroplasticity" - getting better control of your attention is the foundation of changing your brain, and thus your life, for the better.

One Breath at a Time

When you inhale oxygen surges into your brain while the arousing sympathetic nervous system activates and accelerates the heartbeat. Exhale and activate the soothing peaceful parasympathetic nervous system, so the heart beats more slowly. In the breath you are home in this moment, this Now. Breathing brings you home.

See Deep Wants

Deep down, most wants are positive. Typically, even horrible behaviors are misguided efforts to gain positive things like pleasure, independence, recognition, control, or justice. This is not to justify these actions in any way. But grounding oneself in the whole truth, means seeing the whole picture, including the good intentions poignantly producing bad behavior.