Unless we can bear young people's hatred and understand it as normal (which means acknowledging our own capacity to hate), the danger is that young people are left feeling that there's something wrong with them, something fundamentally untouchable about them.
A baby doesn't think of itself as anything other than a body. That subjective sense of 'me' as distinct from 'my body' comes later, comes gradually, and by the time they're teenagers, young people are still wrestling with the distinction.
When young people say that everything happens for a reason, they need to be challenged gently and sympathetically. It doesn't matter that we end up not having the answers but it does matter that we keep asking the questions. The alternative for young people is sometimes a catastrophic disillusionment.
Adults live with a teenager inside themselves: an angry or unconfident or confused teenager, depending on their own experience of those earlier years. Their relationship with that internal teenager will always inform their relationship with an actual son or daughter. And teenagers pick up on this, only talking about the things adults can cope with.