Appreciate, Don't Judge

Ever see someone with a scowl on their face, thought to yourself "Wow, what a jerk, wonder what I did to make them mad?" only to speak to them and find out they're not in a bad mood at all ? We tell ourselves stories about people we meet, even only briefly, and form judgements about them every day.

Judgements we make about others can change our body language when we're around them without our conscious knowledge. For example, how would you sit if you knew you were talking to a convicted murderer, like Scott Peterson? You would probably be pretty nervous, disdainful, and even angry, and your body language would reflect that mindset. If you were nervous, you would most likely close off your body language, making yourself a smaller target. Your hands would be in your lap or across your throat, your knees would be together, your posture would be slumped. If you were angry your face would tell the tale. Your eyebrows would lower and furrow, your lips would be pulled in tightly, and your lower and upper eyelids would be pulled up.

Now imagine you're sitting with someone you admire or respect, like Lance Armstrong. You'd probably open up, smile, put your hands on the table, and angle your bellybutton towards him. When speaking, you'd probably gesture with your palms up, say his name, and ask open-ended questions: "Lance, what was it like winning all of those Tours de France?"

Because we're prone to making judgements about people and because our body language reflects our opinions of others, it's important to be aware of both our preconceptions and our body language at all times. This is especially true in a sales situation. If you go into a pitch when you've already talked yourself out of a sale by deciding the potential client is too closed-minded, too shy, or too angry, your body language is going to scream it. Be aware of your negative preconceptions and consciously adjust your body language to make whomever you're speaking to feel like Lance Armstrong and not Scott Peterson. Remember to start each day with an attitude of gratitude. Cataloguing everything you're grateful for is an excellent way to begin the day on a positive note. Before you know it, you'll soon have plenty more to add to the list!

Photo credit: althouse's photostream.