Boys Will Be Boys

Masculinity is based on the suppression of vulnerability and dependency. It is not only socialization that's the culprit but the problem boys have separating from female mothers

Psychology, Learning, and the Serenity Prayer

Tolerate failure in order to succeed.This is true if you golf or play a sport, write, or pretty much do anything that requires learning and mastery. The Serenity Prayer says it all

Automation Takes Jobs and Universal Basic Income Might Help

Artificial intelligence, robotics, and the rise of freelance or "gig" economy, is eliminating millions of jobs and we need a Universal Basic Income to deal with it.

Trump, Sanders and the Longing for Authenticity

We are so used to the phony kabuki dance of politicians and are so estranged from each other, that we seek authenticity & see it in Trump's demagoguery and even Sanders' directness

Hillary Plays the Cynicism Card

Cynicism results from the frustration of our needs for meaning and purpose and plagues our politics.

Waking Up From War and Healing our Wounded Warriors

The PTSD seen in vets is reinforced by social attitudes of dissociation, denial, and neglect. Healing requires community.

The Politics of Loneliness

The verdict is in: Loneliness is on the rise in America today. We all suffer from it. The Right speaks to it through jingoism and scapegoating. Progressives need to address it too

Phones With Buttons

Modern corporate practices involving customer and technical support lead to long and frustrating waits. These frustrations are viewed by corporations as the cost of doing business.

The Imposter Syndrome in Progressive Leaders

Progressive political leaders have a special version of the Imposter Syndrome, a set of beliefs in public leaders that they don't deserve the power and authority that they actually have. For progressives, this often stems from a guilty over-identification with the underdog. They react my diminishing their power and status to their own detriment and that of their movement

The Science of Addiction and Recovery

Common sense says that something becomes addictive because of its intrinsically powerful attraction. Johann Hari and other have shown that this is wrong, and that the context is crucial. By context they mean the history of emotional abuse, neglect, and isolation. Recovery groups, at their best, work because they provide a contradictory context of love and community

Putting Trump and the GOP on the Couch

The GOP presidential candidates appeal to needs for safety and security through grandiosity and paranoia. Psychologists can help us understand how American Exceptionalism and xenophobia function to counteract feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, isolation, and self-blame, all of which are on the rise. Paranoia and grandiosity are pathological solutions.

It's NOT the Economy, Stupid!

Liberals mistakenly believe that people are motivated primarily by narrow economic self-interest. Research and clinical experience shows this belief to be mistaken. Needs for meaning, purpose, community, recognition, and agency are every bit as important as so-called "survival needs" (a la Maslow), and the progressive movement needs to speak to these needs if it is to win.

Beyond Bread and Butter

Progressive political activists are too fixated on economic inequality and justice, reflecting a narrow and incorrect view of what people really need.

Why We Cry at the Movies

Paradoxically, people don't cry or get sad during the tragic or tense parts of a movie, TV show, or book. They cry when there is a resolution to the psychically distressing situation. During the tense/tragic scenes, they feel too vulnerable to cry or get emotional. They experience these feelings only when it is safe to do so. Safety makes it possible to lift repressions

Why People Are So Mean to Immigrant Children

The current wave of hostility toward the influx of Central American children has its psychic roots in, first, a need to project unacceptable needs and shameful vulnerabilities onto others who then become the "enemy," and, second, by scapegoating these children, some people feel a momentary sense of community based on an "us-vs-them" or "insider-outsider" experience.

We are a Nation on Hold

Everyone has had the experience of endless waiting on the phone for help of some kind. Although affecting people in slightly different ways, the universal reaction is helplessness which leads to depression or rage. This reaction mirrors and reinforces other areas of our lives where we are powerless. For extreme conservatives, such feelings get displaced onto government.

Your Therapist Probably Has One of These Nine Blind Spots

Psychotherapists often apply theories that aren't specific to the client. They are guided by "principles of technique" learned in training and, unfortunately, gloss over the unique needs of clients. There are exceptions to every rule, thereby rendering the rule weak or invalid. The only useful clinical generalization involves creating a safe space unique to each person.

Psychotherapy Is Much Simpler Than You Might Think

The process by which psychotherapy works is made too complicated. 2 researchers, Joseph Weiss and Harold Sampson, have published research over 50 years, arguing persuasively that people suffer from "pathogenic beliefs" that interfere with normal developmental aims and that the role of the therapist is to provide insight and corrective experiences to cure their suffering.

Coaching Myths

The coaching profession is now wedded to the false and self-serving notion that it is significantly different from psychotherapy. In order to promote such a belief it has to caricature psychotherapy and hide its own (normal) pecuniary and status-driven self-interest

Who Is Speaking Up for the Insured?

Most people have health insurance, but progressives focus on those who don't or on the limitations in the plans of those that do. But the people who have insurance suffer in many other ways--e.g. short appointments with busy distracted doctors, indifferent front offices, bureaucracies--all of which diminish health outcomes. We need to put the care back in health care.

How Do You Know Your Shrink Is Helping You?

The psychotherapy field is a Tower of Babel of multiple professions and schools of thought. Therefore, it's difficult for patients to judge whether they are getting the help they need. Tragically, failures of a therapist are often internalized by patients who feel more hopeless. Five guidelines are presented to help patients evaluate their therapists and their treatment

Why Psychologists Will Miss James Gandolfini

The narrative arc of Season 1 of the Sopranos amounts to Tony's dawning awareness of the intolerable truth of his mother's hatred. In this, Tony is Everyman. Like all of us, Tony would rather be "a sinner in heaven than a saint in hell;" that is, he'd rather see himself as "bad" rather than face the badness of a parent. When confronted by this in therapy, he explodes.

A New Paradigm of Golf Instruction

Mindfulness and other lessons from contemplative traditions have become increasingly important in sports coaching. In golf instruction, the pendulum has begun to swing from a focus on “fixing” what's “broken” with “tips” to deepening a golfer's experience of different aspects of the swing and an increased emphasis on becoming mindful of the present moment.

Are People Getting More Primitive, or Is Psychoanalysis?

There is a trend in psychoanalysis that privileges primitive mental states. This trend reflects a turn in theory but doesn't necessarily reflect importantl new insights that increase our therapeutic efficacy. I speculate that the motivations behind this "turn" include the excitement connected to notions of "depth" and a compensatory retreat from seeking greater efficacy.

The Gun Lobby's Hypocrisy About Mental Health

The gun lobby's attempts to divert attention from guns to mental health after Newtown was predictable, but hypocritical. If one looked seriously at what it would take to deal with the psychological causes of gun rampages, the cost and necessary expansion of government would be intolerable to those on the Right pretending to address the problem of mental illness today.

Bruce Springsteen and the Politics of Meaning in America

Bruce Springsteen speaks to needs people have for meaning, connection, recognition, and agency. Progressives need to address these needs in order to defeat the advantage the Right has in money. Thus, we have to speak, like Springsteen, to their broader needs for things in addition to economic justice.

When Progressive Leaders Burn Out, We All Lose

Progressive leaders are too often martyrs who burnout and recreate grim environments unattractive to others. It stems from both external pressures and internal conflicts involving guilt. A combination of organizational and personal changes can alleviate this problem and is essential to the success of our movement.

Obama, Cynicism, and the Need for Meaning

The need for meaning is fundamental in the human psyche. It animates people in politics, work, family, and in both their spiritual and creative lives. When it's frustrated, as it has been by Obama, people become cynical. When it's activated, people will join movements and become their better selves.

Getting to the Bottom of Online Sex

It's fine to judge Anthony Weiner. But if you want to understand the psychology of men drawn to online sex, you have to understand that such outlets provide very particular disconfirming conditions for the anxieties that plague men.

Everything Said About Anthony Weiner Is Wrong

It's fine to be upset with Anthony Weiner for hurting the Democratic Party with his sexual shenanigans. But since we will never know a single thing about his personal psychology, everything we infer about it represents our own projections.

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