National Adoption Day

I've been pondering adoption for a couple of years as jealousy of my brothers and their children for finding their biological families tortures me each summer weekend.

I'll Start Tomorrow

People lose weight for a million bad reasons, ones that won’t resonate back to them across the years.

The Wall

Regret piled up on regret until I had to hurt physically to match the internal stream of ache.

National Single Awareness Day Comes but Once a Year

Maybe it should be called National Single Undying-Gratitude Day.

Love Week

Today, on the eve of St. Valentine of Terni’s martyrdom 1700 years ago – for trying to convert Emperor Claudius – is International Self Love Day.

Dissection of a Food Binge

I wanted more than practicing normal. I wanted more than I had at hand. I wanted OUT – out of my apartment, out of my anger and resentment and loneliness.

Speaking Depression

A bad depression is like an endless flu with fluctuations in temperature. If you want to help, learn the language.

Wanted: A Home

A few remarks against rental housing regulations.

After the Storm

Depression teaches helplessness and to really kick it in the ass, I have to get moving, despite my co-occurring social anxiety: moving with intent, with priority, with the knowledge that some of the social interactions called for will tire me, moving for the sake of my dog or someone else.

Hero de Jour

A hero, I began to think, is someone who doesn’t meekly accept a hopeless situation and steps up to change it, whether doing so will have a happy ending or not. It is not their job. They have no training. They aren’t impatient for their struggle.

Framing Life

Here are the two things I’ve learned in editing photos in the last 24 hours. I should also add that these discoveries happen to be about pictures of dogs.

The Idiot Factor

Stories based on “Increased fruit and vegetable intake has no discernable effect on weight loss: a systematic review and meta-analysis" started to flood the Internet.

Invoking the At-Least Clause

I'm not all Annie about this–the sun will come out tomorrow and burn my retinas–but I am reaching for the idea that being depressed and hopeless maybe doesn't mean there's no hope.

Barbie Now and Then

Why would Barbie have warped my body image? I didn’t want those annoying tits or any of the scratchy hair-dos that came after her ponytail. Those were the years that Jackie Kennedy was changing the way my mother dressed and decorated. My television icons were Samantha Stevens, Marlo Thomas and, by the end of my Barbie years, Susan Partridge.

Spring Cleaning

Exercise for an obese person is different than it is for a thinner person. It’s a shame that this fact goes unrecognized because it only enhances fat phobia.

The Perfect Dress

I have been accustomed to thinking that I earned weight loss and control of my addiction. These days I’m coming to think they are my due.

The Red Dog

Addiction and social anxiety can stand alone but it’s easy to see how they complete each other as well. The first soothes the latter and the latter facilitates the isolation and loneliness that feeds the former. They rob life of space, or add too much space.

Broken News

I’ve always said that for each time my (or anyone’s) weight is mentioned, it will be another three months before I (or anyone) “does something about it”.

"No White Water BMI Restrictions for Jamboree Participants"

The Boy Scouts of America are gathering in Virginia for some adventures of a lifetime, the Jamboree. Among the 37,000 attendees will be no one with a BMI of over 40 (about a hundred pounds overweight), and those with a BMI between 32 and 39.9 will have had to submit medical proof of their fitness. Never has BMI been so classically displayed for its arbitrariness.

Say Yes to the Dress

Later this month I am leaving to visit my father and help and abet my youngest niece’s wedding. She has asked me to do one of the readings during the service and also, because it’s a huge family get-together, to consider a color palette in green-blue-yellow for photo purposes. And so started several days of staring at various websites looking for the Right Dress.

Further Thoughts on Living With an Overweight Teen

So much about being overweight as a teenager is about being excluded from the fun. Keep the focus on fun, on flavor, on bounty, on socialization, on learning.

Don't Talk to Your Overweight Teen—Act!

Pediatrics that says that kids are overwhelmed by talk of weight and dieting and feel they cannot change the numbers. As someone who was obese from early childhood and still struggling in my mid-50s, I’d like to add some thoughts to this poignant and very painful problem.

Face-Off: The American Medical Association vs. Fat Activism

Last week, the American Medical Association announced that it now considers obesity a disease, defining obesity as a BMI of 30+. According to the NIH BMI calculator, I would escape the disease label at a weight of around 190 pounds, a shockingly reasonable, shockingly attainable number.

Rex Reed on Melissa McCarthy

I want to address something more serious, which is the line between a realistic body and being obese.

A Different Kind of Inventory: Part I

“Even if I got down to those sizes again, I’m not that person,” I’d say about the boxes, vacuum-sealed bags, bins and dry cleaning bags that I’d squirreled away ever since I began to gain weight.

Backing Into My [Best] Self

Each time in these weeks of beginning reconstruction that I make progress, all the things I need to do come flooding over me.
Doing the Two-Step with the Twelve Steps

Doing the Two-Step with the Twelve Steps

I refuse, once again, to find my way back to the 12-step church basement because I’m unacceptable. For today, being acceptable for what I am is the course to accepting the responsibilities of abstinence.


I need to get back in the Rooms and under mentorship not because I want to wear a lace dress next summer or impress my friends and have revenge on my enemies, it’s because the demons of resentment and anger are alive and kicking me 24/7.

The Serenity Prayer

Rather more often than the Serenity Prayer teaches us, changing means acknowledging authentic needs and satisfying triumphs as well as getting over a sour or hyper-critical mood. Also rather more often than the Serenity Prayer teaches us, changing means acknowledging authentic needs and satisfying triumphs as well as a bad or hyper-critical mood.

Wanting It Yesterday

Addicts who want to recover must learn to live with cravings, both for their substance and for answers/events/things. Unhaveable things, however, often have important information that we need to listen to.