With so many ways to have instant access to another person, it's so important for each of us to think before we immediately react by thinking through the various possible intended and unintended consequences of your actions. Your thinking impacts your anger, upset, or fear and colors how you see your situation. Take your own emotional temperature and if it's high give yourself a timed "time out" to calm down the intensity of whatever you are feeling. That will give you the time you need to chill so that you can then think about your thoughts. Sometimes you realize that you were thinking about the situation incorrectly or may have overreacted all together. Other times you realize that your thinking was right on track but that you may need to figure out your next steps. If you didn't hit the send button on your phone or computer, or already called or shown up then you still have time to logically think through what you need to do to be effective in the situation. Have the confidence to be your own resource. Here's some questions you may want to keep handy. Ask yourself what options you have and image each one through. Ask yourself what you would tell a friend in the same situation. Ask yourself if you would mind if what you said or sent was forwarded to lots of people you know. Ask yourself how you would feel if you bumped into or had to interact with this person again after you followed your plan. The key is to be effective and not reactive.

About the Authors

Leslie Sokol

Leslie Sokol,Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, is the co-author of Think Confident, Be Confident.

Marci Fox, Ph.D.

Marci Fox, a licensed psychologist and international speaker, is the co-author of Think Confident, Be Confident.

You are reading

Think Confident, Be Confident

Why Exercise is a Life Skill

The act of exercising can be a microcosm for everything

Don't Yield to Holiday Over-Indulgence

Whether you have been working at weight loss, weight maintenance,

Go for your goals and gain confidence

Set goals and go after them to build confidence