5 Steps to End a Toxic Relationship

The tendency to unconsciously seek out toxic relationships frequently starts with past negative experiences when we are children and might carry on throughout our lives. They can become so deeply ingrained in the way we think and feel that we don’t realize we are steeped in toxicity...

Are You a Traumatized Woman?

When we peruse the landscape of our world half the women we see have experienced a life-altering traumatic event, perhaps a natural disaster like a tornado, or a human-made disaster such as a car accident. And 1 in 3 women will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. But this number is probably much higher because these are only reported cases.

The Bystander Effect

We’d all like to think that when we see something bad happening that we’d step forward to render aid. But in reality most of us don’t. And although some people won’t take the initiative to help, they will take the time to photograph or videotape the event and post it on the internet. Why?

PTSD Is Alive and Well, Unfortunately

"American Sniper", the top grossing film in the U.S. the last two weekends, opens our eyes to the invisible wounds suffered by our active duty military personnel and veterans. Are you brave enough to read the startling facts about our home-grown heroes, their PTSD—and the alarming number of suicides?

Holiday Blues vs Seasonal Affective Disorder

People are supposed to be happy during the holidays but if you are feeling depressed - do you have the Holiday Blues? or Seasonal Affective Disorder? Lets find out...

3 Ways to Improve Your Life

Finding balance in our lives – seeking happiness today as well as exploring the meaningful experiences of our past - brings us closer to being better and brighter people tomorrow.

8 Ways to Get a Relationship Back on Track

In this column, we address how a significant other can help their lover overcome negative experiences and behaviors and pave the way for more positive and enjoyable present and future sexual encounters.

Men, Sex, and Time Perspectives

Whether male or female, for better or worse, your time perspective can dominate how you prioritize, even when it comes to sex. If you're not getting what you want from your sex life your time perspective could be holding you back from more fulfilling experiences.

Empty Nest, Bring It On!

At this time of year in our clinical practice, we noted a slight uptick in folks–usually women–suffering from depression. Some are aware of the cause and some not so much. They have just sent their youngest or only child off to college and have fallen into the void of loss and sorrow known as the Empty Nest Syndrome.

Life After Life

When my husband Rick was diagnosed with fatal gastric cancer 14 months ago, I suffered a massive heart break. But having a broken heart is a gift–because it gives you the opportunity to rebuild it, ideally better for having loved well, even if that physical reality is gone.

Father Figure

Phil Zimbardo here – With Father’s Day just around the corner, it seemed like a good idea to discuss one of the most important messages a father can pass on to his son: What it is to be a man in our complicated society.

Mother Almighty

When we feel unconditional love for our children and we are fortunate enough to be able to focus on raising them in a wholesome, healthy way, we pave the way for our children to grow up well-balanced and able to cope with life as it unfolds. But what if we have hang-ups?

This Is Your Brain

The brain is the most complex organ in the known universe which helps us understand why such all-encompassing problems such as posttraumatic stress can become deeply embedded in our brain and subsequently our psyche.

Frequent Liars/Secret Lives

Most of us bend the truth – or omit it – on occasion for different reasons. But why are some of us more prone than others to sharing or telling secrets and lies?

Wait, What? Shut Up!

Has this happened to you? You absolutely, positively believe something is true. And then—Wham! Ouch! Your feet fly into the air and you land on your rear as the rug is pulled out from under you when you discover The Real Truth.

For Your Eyes Only

Many of us have had unintentional voyeuristic experiences such as walking into our parent's bedroom - or in on friends at parties - while they are having sex. How might these experiences affect us?

Three Things To Do By December 31st

If you’ve ever wondered why you are where you are in your life, it may be helpful to realize that external circumstances as well as personal choices put you there. Do these three things to help you get 2014 started in a positive direction.

True Remorse

Unless you are a psychopath, you have probably suffered from feelings of remorse at one time or another. As journalist and author Mignon McLaughlin stated, “True remorse is never just regret over consequence; it is regret over motive.” We feel remorse when we've done something that takes calculated forethought and we know it isn't right.

Toxic Relationships—Part II

Why do toxic relationships cause us to be passive-aggressive? After reviewing clinical work with clients it appears that most people have used passive-aggressive acts—some of them too disgusting and outrageous to report—at one time or another. But these folks don’t necessarily fit the DSM passive-aggressive personality disorder descriptor.

Lessons from Limbo

A few months ago we got the bad news: my husband Rick, father/step father of our 6 kids, work partner, co-developer of Time Perspective Therapy, and the man I have built my life around, was diagnosed with an aggressive, difficult to treat cancer. So how would the folks who wrote the book about dealing with trauma and stress handle this traumatic situation?

Toxic Relationships

Most of us have experienced – or are currently in – one or more toxic relationships. We question how they can be avoided and maybe even if we are the toxic person. We may also ponder why, after experiencing past negative toxic relationships before, we continue to draw them into our lives.

Kindness Is the Key

In times of trauma and disaster, our nation tops the list in pulling together and helping each other (read: the American Red Cross.) So why is it some of us have such a hard time helping others in our every day lives?

Coping Guidelines for Trauma and Tragedy

We were recently asked by an on-line journal to provide coping strategies for first responders and others who volunteer to help in traumatic and tragic incidences.

You Are What You Eat

Most of us try to make healthy choices most of the time because we’re thinking about our future – we want to look good and feel good tomorrow, next year, and decades from now. But sometimes there are exceptions...

Time is Money - Or is Time Perspective Money?

Does eating a marshmallow as a 4-year-old mean you’re destined for less success as an adult? Let's find out...

Five Days of Tragedy and Trauma

In a five day period, our nation has been rocked by devastation, terrorism and trauma. If you are reading this column, you are likely in the field of mental health, a student taking psychology courses, or someone who has been affected in some way by the shocking events of this week and are seeking some help.

Men, Sex and a Loving Time Perspective

Guys get a bad rep for being crude, lewd and silly dudes, when it comes to sex. In the old “battle of the sexes view”, guys just want to get laid, with no strings attached, and in the extreme, with getting off as quickly as possible -- as if they were in a porn video.

Sex Talk – For Women (Mostly)

Imagine being a young, athletic, extremely intelligent, successful attorney with a healthy sexual appetite and a loving husband. Life is made more perfect when you have your first child. But you weren't counting on another baby when the other is still in diapers. How do you handle being intimate?

Sex Talk – For Women (Mostly)

We’ve interviewed four women of varying ages - 17 to 87 - about the importance of sex in their lives. In the process we gained invaluable insight into their time perspectives and how far women have traveled on the road to sexual equality in our society - and how much farther we have to go.

It's Time For Sex!

For better or worse, your time perspective can dominate how you prioritize, even when it comes to sex. If you're not getting what you want from your sex life your time perspective could be holding you back from more fulfilling experiences.

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