You Don't Know What You Want

The mind is designed to trust itself, but psychology time and time again proves it is unworthy of that reputation. Research indicates we overestimate what will make us happy.

There Is No Point

The idea that there may be no meaning in life leads many to feel lost and depressed. However, as pop culture as well as some educated thinkers profess, this needn't be.

Increasing Willpower and Resilience

There are techniques you can use to increase your fortitude. It all starts with changing perception.

Relationship Tides

A possible reframe for the approach and distancing pattern often found in couples counseling comes from evolutionary theory, and the module theory of mind.

You Aren't You at All

Most believe that decisions are based on personality. Modern psychology suggests mental modules created through evolution and triggered by the situation are much more responsible.

You Think You're A Good Parent?

Most parents feel they've done a good job, and wonder why their offspring aren't grateful. Many offspring have been hurt by their parents and wonder why they've never apologized.

Are You Even Being?

Most people are detached from either themselves, nature, or even their close relationships. Others are treated as objects. This results in what existentialists call non-being.
William Berry / Art by Carlos Andres Lopez

It Doesn't Matter

"It doesn't matter," even when said facetiously, is an existential statement waiting to be actualized. It hints at the freedom to create meaning from meaninglessness.

It Is What It Is

"It is what it is" is often said as. a negative, as if one has no choice. However, the same words can be the beginning of an enlightened approach to life.

Raising Your Inner Child

The "inner child" has been a popular idea in psychotherapy. Theories purport positives and negatives in it. There are ways to enhance the positives and reduce the negatives.

Mindfulness and Acceptance in Alcoholics Anonymous

The idea of using meditation, mindfulness, and acceptance in psychotherapy may seem like a fashionable idea, but it has been included in addiction recovery since the beginning.

Of Course You're Depressed

Depression, its symptoms, and a general sense of unhappiness are so common that antidepressant drugs have become the second most prescribed medication. But you can be happier.

Politics and Self-Actualization

This country is move divisive than I've seen it. Everyone is caught in their perspective, which is believed correct. But this can be transcended with focus on self-actualization.

Changing for a Change

Resistance to change abounds—for good reasons. But this resistance can be combated, and understanding its weapons is a good start.

Existence is Suffering

Existentialists, Freud, Buddhists, as well as others, believe that there is pain inherent in life; that there is an emptiness that needs to be faced and cannot be avoided.

A Verbose Argument for Silence

To use more words, and possibly reinforce my own ego, to argue for silence is ironic and paradoxical. But much of communication is mindless, and thereby detrimental.

You Can Change Who You Are

The debate in personality psychology has been whether character traits or the environment have been more responsible for observable behavior. An underestimated aspect is the mind.

Transcending Romantic Love

There is really one simple step to transcending romantic love: Stop making everything about you, and do for another. Compassion, loving-kindness, and just loving are the path.

The Psychology of Enlightenment

One way to overcome, or at least mediate the pain inherent in life is to seek enlightenment. However, we often become entranced in the veneer of life, but yearn for something more.

You're So Selfish

Self-centered behavior is natural, but is detrimental to interpersonal relationships and an impediment to personal growth. Awareness can lead to using it to one's advantage.

Think Buddha. Be a Buddha

Everyone has Buddha nature hidden underneath layers of conditioning. Recent science demonstrates thinking you are something brings your behavior closer to who you want to be.

The Empowering Moment

We have the power in every moment to choose who we will be. This idea is empowering. In time one can be who one chooses to be, rather than who one was conditioned to be.

Mindful Arguing

Arguing is often negatively affected by emotions. Mindfulness can go a long way to defusing this interference, and allowing a disagreement or conflict to be thoughtfully resolved.

Why Does The Heart Want What It Wants?

Several famous people (and many more that we've never heard of) have muttered the words, "The heart wants what it wants". But there are reasons that some prefer to deny.

"You're the Worst" On Love

Romantic-Comedic television shows exaggerate what people experience in their lives. In the case of "You're The Worst", the show exaggerates the selfishness and what Maslow described as Deficiency-Love common in many relationships. However, just because it is "normal" (meaning the majority do it) doesn't mean you have to settle for it.

Why You Shun Enlightenment

There are a number of reasons people profess wanting enlightenment yet don't follow through, fall short, or deviate from the path. The easy answer is that it is hard. But what makes it hard? What makes it so attractive to remain unconscious?

Talk Your Brain Into Being A Better Servant

There are simple and proven techniques that can allow you to use your mind more effectively, and it begins with talking to yourself. Though long viewed as a sign of possible mental illness or decline, studies indicate self-talk, including talking aloud can lead to positive outcomes.

Tell Me About Your Day

There are a number of forces working against sustained effective and meaningful conversation in relationships. These forces range from evolutionary drives to acclimation to drives to succeed. Despite the forces working against a relationship, there are strategies that can be utilized to prevent or reverse these negative trends. It starts with mindfulness.

Everyone Has Won, And All Must Have Prizes

"Everyone has won, and all must have prizes." The Dodo Bird Verdict, as it is now called, is from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. The Dodo Bird suggested a competition where everyone ran around to dry off. Since no record was kept of how far or long everyone ran, when asked who won the dodo bird proclaimed all had won. This was later used to proclaim all therapies work.

Acceptance: It Isn't What You Think

Acceptance is viewed by many as a negative resignation, surrender, giving up. Not only is it not quite as simple as this, it has been found to be an effective strategy for lasting happiness. Combined with appreciation and resonating with the positive, science has demonstrated this is a powerful force in improving one's quality of life.

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