Hi and welcome to my new blog for Psychology Today! I’m very excited to be here and to have the opportunity to share with you some of the cutting-edge research that scientists have conducted on the dynamics of close relationships. My goal is simple (and somewhat selfish, since I truly love talking about these issues) – to give you the most up-to-date scientific information about love, romance, sex, attraction, conflict, and the many other fascinating and frustrating issues we face in our romantic relationships.
Now, let me admit right up front that I am hardly the poster child for relationship perfection. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my romantic relationships and I’ve experienced the same problems and pitfalls that everyone else has. But this blog is not about my own romantic successes and failures, although these have undoubtedly informed my understanding of dating and mating. I’m a social psychologist and statistician at a large university, and I conduct research on love, sex, and romance.
Thousands of participants have passed through my lab and generously given their time (and their data!) – and this has allowed me to write nearly 200 scientific articles and presentations as well as a number of books about relationships (Close Relationships [Routledge, 2011], The Mating Game [Sage, 2003, 2008], The Psychology of Interpersonal Relationships [Pearson, 2005], and Lust: What We Know About Human Sexual Desire [Sage, 1999]). I also teach classes about relationship science, and have been honored with the Outstanding Professor Award by my university for excellence in instructional and scientific achievement.
And what I’ve learned over the course of doing all this research and writing and teaching is that some of my own personal ideas about relationships are just plain wrong! The power of science is that it has the ability to test many of the assumptions, and answer many of the questions, that we have about our romantic relationships. Is there really one and only one true love for each of us? Do opposites always attract? Is there a “good” way to end a relationship? Can marriages survive infidelity? What are the best ways to resolve conflict? In this blog, we’ll answer (or try to answer) these and other questions.
I hope you find our discussion interesting and informative. Feel free to leave a comment or suggest a topic – I only ask that you keep your comments clean and courteous (I’ll do the same). Thanks for joining me!