Not Trusting the Happy

One reader asks if it is possible to be happy as a secondary in a polyamorous relationship. Dr Eli says go for it -- with two cautions.

Four Types of Commitment in Polyamorous Relationships

This blog looks at four ways polyamorists express their commitments to each other verbally, with fluid bonding, via Google calendar, and with ceremonies.

Is Polyamory a Form of Sexual Orientation?

Polyamory may be a sexual orientation, both in a legal and personal sense.

Adverse Features Contribute to Abuse in Polyamory

Isolation, charismatic leaders, and groupthink could facilitate abuse in polyamorous families.

Protective Features Curb Abuse in Polyamorous Relationships

This blog explores the protective features that can inhibit abuse in polyamorous families like the presence of an observer, outside perspectives, allies, and more resources.

Cheating and Consensual Non-Monogamy

People can cheat before, during, and after consensual non-monogamous relationships. This cheating can be emotional and/or physical, involving lying or broken safer sex agreements.

Are Polyamorous Relationships Sexist?

Polyamory may be sexist sometimes, but the unruly women who own their sexual desires and reject slut shaming have power in poly life, earn their own money, and control their lives.

Otherfathering and Men in Polyamorous Families

Polyaffectivity offers men a way to connect with each other and stay connected with kids, even if no longer having sex with the kids' mother. Otherfathering provides connections.

Why So Few Lesbians and Gays in Mainstream Poly Community?

This blog explores four reasons why lesbians and gay men might not appear in the mainstream US poly scene as much as their bisexual and heterosexual counterparts.

Who Does the Chores?

Housework is an unpleasant chore, and the added people in polyamorous and other blended families can make it even more complex. There is ongoing research on poly household labor.

Polyaffectivity and Compersion in House of Cards

The Netflix series House of Cards has a plot line that demonstrates compersion and polyaffectivity in a fictional relationship, and this blog explores their expressions in the show

Polyamory Advocacy

Polyamorists are in the midst of an advocacy program attempting to educate members of the general public about polyamory and foster social acceptance for poly relationships.

3 Ways to Combat Therapeutic Bias Against Polyamory

This blog explores three ways to combat bias against polyamorous or any clients with unconventional relationships.

Therapeutic Bias Against Consensual Non-Monogamy

Psychological judgment against unconventional relationships has a long history, but using bias to make clinical decisions—consciously or not—is harmful to clients.

Five Strategies to Manage Jealousy

This blog presents five strategies for dealing with jealousy, from the three D's to sources to get support.

Confronting Jealousy

In the first of a two part blog, this blog looks at jealousy in polyamorous and monogamous relationships.

Try OkCupid if You are Looking for a Polyamorous Valentine

This blog explores why OkCupid added a category for open relationships and what that might mean for people in or searching for polyamorous relationships.

The One Penis Policy

This blog explores the phenomenon of the One Penis Policy in which some men in polyamorous relationships attempt to limit their female partners access to other men.

When Your Partner Wants Non-Monogamy and You Don’t

This blog explores the difficulties that some people in mixed orientation relationships with a monogamous and a polyamorous person, as well as some strategies to handle challenges

Who Counts as Mom and Dad?

When kids who grow up in polyamorous families have multiple adults in their lives, how do they decide who counts as a parent?

Graceful Endings and Expanded Connections: Resilience Part 3

This third blog about resilience shows how poly families use graceful endings to create extended connections among adults, and how divorced folks could use these strategies too.

Resilient Family Outcomes Through Polyaffectivity

The second in a series of three on resilience, this blog looks at how polyamorous families de-emphasize sexuality and focus instead on polyaffectivity to sustain connections.

Resilience in Polyamorous Families

This blog introduces poly family resilience and looks at how polys use flexibility, communication, and honesty to remain resilient.

Fear of Damage to Children in Polyamorous Families

Because polyamory is stigmatized in conventional society, many poly parents or other adults who love children being raised in poly families are concerned about how growing up in a polyamorous family might affect children. In this blog I include a question from a concerned mother and my response to her concerns about how her relationships might impact her kids.

Five Disadvantages of Polyamory

This blog examines some of the disadvantages to polyamory, including 1. Complexity, 2. Partner Turnover, 3. Faulty Negotiation, 4. Legal Problems, and 5. Too Much Supervision

Why Monogamy Isn't

This blog explores some of the current cultural expressions of monogamy including hookup culture, serial monogamy, and the many new ways people can find access to cheating online. While monogamy is still the dominant cultural form, it is not inherently good in all instances. Monogamy is as open to flaws as are other forms of relationship.

How Society Could Accommodate Multi-Partner Marriages

Legalizing same-sex marriage has started people talking more seriously about the possibility of multiple-partner marriage. For some that means a slide down a slippery slop to absolute chaos, but it does not have to be that way. This blog looks at two alternative ways to structure multiple-partner marriage and explores some of the possible social impacts.

Why the sky won't fall even if gay marriage spurs polygamy

Does same-sex marriage lead the way to multiple-partner marriage? If so, what kind of impact might that have on society? This blog introduces the Supreme Court decision and its relationship to plural marriage, puts polygamy in social, cultural, and historical context, and identifies differences between polygyny and polyamory.

Seven Steps For Coming Out to a (Potential) Sweetie as Poly

Because most people grow up thinking monogamy is the norm in the US, people who want to date others in consensual non-monogamous relationships often have to introduce the concept to dates. This blog gives 6 steps for coming out as poly to a current or potential sweetie.

Child Custody Issues for Polyamorous Families

Sexual minorities usually fare poorly in court when family members (often an ex-spouse or parent/grandparent) or institutional representative from Child Protective Services challenge their custody of their children. This blog explains five things parents or families who are concerned about custody can do to prepare themselves in case their custody is challenged.

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