The One Penis Policy

This blog explores the phenomenon of the One Penis Policy in which some men in polyamorous relationships attempt to limit their female partners access to other men.

When Your Partner Wants Non-Monogamy and You Don’t

This blog explores the difficulties that some people in mixed orientation relationships with a monogamous and a polyamorous person, as well as some strategies to handle challenges

Who Counts as Mom and Dad?

When kids who grow up in polyamorous families have multiple adults in their lives, how do they decide who counts as a parent?

Graceful Endings and Expanded Connections: Resilience Part 3

This third blog about resilience shows how poly families use graceful endings to create extended connections among adults, and how divorced folks could use these strategies too.

Resilient Family Outcomes Through Polyaffectivity

The second in a series of three on resilience, this blog looks at how polyamorous families de-emphasize sexuality and focus instead on polyaffectivity -- the non-sexual connections among family members -- to sustain connections over time. Useful for blended monogamous families, the poly ability to flex with changing circumstances is key to the resilience of polyaffectivity

Resilience in Polyamorous Families

This blog introduces resilience with a strengths-based perspective that helps explain how some families thrive through adversity, and how polyamorous families demonstrate resilience through flexibility and communication.

Fear of Damage to Children in Polyamorous Families

Because polyamory is stigmatized in conventional society, many poly parents or other adults who love children being raised in poly families are concerned about how growing up in a polyamorous family might affect children. In this blog I include a question from a concerned mother and my response to her concerns about how her relationships might impact her kids.

Five Disadvantages of Polyamory

This blog examines some of the disadvantages to polyamory, including 1. Complexity, 2. Partner Turnover, 3. Faulty Negotiation, 4. Legal Problems, and 5. Too Much Supervision

Why Monogamy Isn't

This blog explores some of the current cultural expressions of monogamy including hookup culture, serial monogamy, and the many new ways people can find access to cheating online. While monogamy is still the dominant cultural form, it is not inherently good in all instances. Monogamy is as open to flaws as are other forms of relationship.

How Society Could Accommodate Multi-Partner Marriages

Legalizing same-sex marriage has started people talking more seriously about the possibility of multiple-partner marriage. For some that means a slide down a slippery slop to absolute chaos, but it does not have to be that way. This blog looks at two alternative ways to structure multiple-partner marriage and explores some of the possible social impacts.

Why the sky won't fall even if gay marriage spurs polygamy

Does same-sex marriage lead the way to multiple-partner marriage? If so, what kind of impact might that have on society? This blog introduces the Supreme Court decision and its relationship to plural marriage, puts polygamy in social, cultural, and historical context, and identifies differences between polygyny and polyamory.

Seven Steps For Coming Out to a (Potential) Sweetie as Poly

Because most people grow up thinking monogamy is the norm in the US, people who want to date others in consensual non-monogamous relationships often have to introduce the concept to dates. This blog gives 6 steps for coming out as poly to a current or potential sweetie.

Child Custody Issues for Polyamorous Families

Sexual minorities usually fare poorly in court when family members (often an ex-spouse or parent/grandparent) or institutional representative from Child Protective Services challenge their custody of their children. This blog explains five things parents or families who are concerned about custody can do to prepare themselves in case their custody is challenged.

Coming Out as Polyamorous, Part II

This blog explores strategies for coming out to families, friends, and kids about being polyamorous.

Coming Out as Polyamorous, Part I

Coming out as polyamorous can be fine, but it can be quite risky as well. Thinking carefully about why coming out would be important, to whom it would be relevant, and if it is safe are only a few of the consideration that polyamorists go through when considering coming out. This two-part blog explores issues of coming out, with the first blog focused on why and to whom.

The Husband Swap

This blog combines themes of parenting, divorce, love, and relationship duration to look at a writer's personal example of how polyamory can work in some instances and not in others.

Poly/Mono or Mono/Poly

This blog introduces and defines polyamorous/monogamous relationships, and then explains what makes poly/mono relationships work, as well as some situations that commonly lead to their negotiation. Finally, the blog closes with a discussion of what makes some poly/mono relationships fail.

5 Lessons Monogamous Families Can Learn from Polyamorists

While polyamory is not for everyone, the folks who are successful at it spend so much time and energy nurturing their relationships that they have developed a variety of techniques to sustain their connections. These techniques can be useful to people in more conventional relationships as well, especially those in blended or divorced families.

Seven Forms of Non-Monogamy

This blog explores seven common types of non-monogamy: cheating, polygamy, open relationships, swinging, monogamish, polyamory, and relationship anarchy. Explaining commonalities and differences, this blog discusses how non-monogamies vary by degrees of honesty, sexual openness, importance of rules/structure, and emotional connection.

Why I Am Not Polyamorous, But You Might Want to Be, Part 3

This post explains monogamish and polyaffective relationships. The last of three posts explaining why I am not polyamorous but think it can good for others. My partner Kira and I allow each other some flexibility to make out with other people, placing us in the monogamish category. Rick, my ex partner, is still my friend and co-parent but no longer romantic partner.

Why I Am Not Polyamorous, But You Might Want to Be, Part 2

This is the second part in a three-part blog explaining why I do not identify as polyamorous, but how it might work for others. First I explain how I left my quasi-poly relationship, and then I detail the three primary reasons I do not identify as polyamorous.

Why I Am Not Polyamorous, But You Might Want to Be, Part 1

The first of a two-part series, this blog explains why the author does not identify as polyamorous, even though she does research and writes blogs about others' poly relationships. She and her ex made three major mistakes that are so common in poly circles that they are cliche.

How Many Polyamorists Are There in the U.S.?

This post provides an estimate of the number of non-monogamists in the US, explores the reasons why it is so difficult to accurately count polyamorists, and details recent attempts to get a question about non-monogamies on the 2016 General Social Survey in order to answer the question about the number of polys.

Divorce Among the Polyamorists

Polyamorists have a variety of interactions with divorce. Sometimes people who have had problems with monogamy in the past get divorced and then become poly. Others say that polyamory saves their marriages from divorce, and still others get divorced and stay together in a poly relationship. For some who try polyamory and have negative experiences, it can lead to divorce.

The Future of (Non and Serial) Monogamy

Monogamy is not what it used to be. No longer the unquestioned social norm, monogamy takes a range of forms from dating and more serious serial monogamy to cheating, polyamory, swinging, and monogamish relationships. What are the long-term social implications of this trend?

How Slippery Is the Slope From Gay Marriage to Polyamory?

Politically and socially, same-sex marriage (or marriage equality) has become increasingly common as the Defense of Marriage Act crumbles and same-sex unions are legally recognized in a growing number of states. So how will this impact society? Will we really slide down the slippery slope to polygamy, and then on to marriage with cats and bicycles?

Is Polyamory a Form of Sex Addiction?

Is polyamory a form of sex addiction? What is sex addiction anyway, and does it just mean that you are having more sex than the person who is diagnosing you? This blog looks at polyamorous relationships to see if they are symptoms of sex addiction.

Religious Attitudes Towards Polyamory

From some conservative Christian sects with a sex-negative view to Tantra that celebrates sexuality and intimacy, religions have a range of attitudes towards polyamory. This blog looks at Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Unitarian Universalism, Paganism, and Sacred Sexualities, examining religious tenets shaping attitudes towards polyamory.

The Five Most Common Legal Issues Facing Polyamorists

This blog summarizes the five most common legal issues that face polyamorists and some other sexual and gender minorities, including custody of children, moral clauses in employment contracts, adultery/bigamy, housing, and the importance of location. I end with a note on how polys' race and class privileges help to buffer them from some of the negative legal impact.

Sexually Transmitted Infections in Polyamorous Relationships

With the increased risk of sexually transmitted infections that come with multiple partners, how do polyamorists protect themselves and their loved ones from transmission? Very carefully, using testing and talking, protection and creativity in what kinds of sex they have, and fluid bonding. Research indicates that these techniques end up yielding good results.