Coming Out as Polyamorous, Part II

This blog explores strategies for coming out to families, friends, and kids about being polyamorous.

Coming Out as Polyamorous, Part I

Coming out as polyamorous can be fine, but it can be quite risky as well. Thinking carefully about why coming out would be important, to whom it would be relevant, and if it is safe are only a few of the consideration that polyamorists go through when considering coming out. This two-part blog explores issues of coming out, with the first blog focused on why and to whom.

The Husband Swap

This blog combines themes of parenting, divorce, love, and relationship duration to look at a writer's personal example of how polyamory can work in some instances and not in others.

Poly/Mono or Mono/Poly

This blog introduces and defines polyamorous/monogamous relationships, and then explains what makes poly/mono relationships work, as well as some situations that commonly lead to their negotiation. Finally, the blog closes with a discussion of what makes some poly/mono relationships fail.

5 Lessons Monogamous Families Can Learn from Polyamorists

While polyamory is not for everyone, the folks who are successful at it spend so much time and energy nurturing their relationships that they have developed a variety of techniques to sustain their connections. These techniques can be useful to people in more conventional relationships as well, especially those in blended or divorced families.

Seven Forms of Non-Monogamy

This blog explores seven common types of non-monogamy: cheating, polygamy, open relationships, swinging, monogamish, polyamory, and relationship anarchy. Explaining commonalities and differences, this blog discusses how non-monogamies vary by degrees of honesty, sexual openness, importance of rules/structure, and emotional connection.

Why I Am Not Polyamorous, But You Might Want to Be, Part 3

This post explains monogamish and polyaffective relationships. The last of three posts explaining why I am not polyamorous but think it can good for others. My partner Kira and I allow each other some flexibility to make out with other people, placing us in the monogamish category. Rick, my ex partner, is still my friend and co-parent but no longer romantic partner.

Why I Am Not Polyamorous, But You Might Want to Be, Part 2

This is the second part in a three-part blog explaining why I do not identify as polyamorous, but how it might work for others. First I explain how I left my quasi-poly relationship, and then I detail the three primary reasons I do not identify as polyamorous.

Why I Am Not Polyamorous, But You Might Want to Be, Part 1

The first of a two-part series, this blog explains why the author does not identify as polyamorous, even though she does research and writes blogs about others' poly relationships. She and her ex made three major mistakes that are so common in poly circles that they are cliche.

How Many Polyamorists Are There in the U.S.?

This post provides an estimate of the number of non-monogamists in the US, explores the reasons why it is so difficult to accurately count polyamorists, and details recent attempts to get a question about non-monogamies on the 2016 General Social Survey in order to answer the question about the number of polys.

Divorce Among the Polyamorists

Polyamorists have a variety of interactions with divorce. Sometimes people who have had problems with monogamy in the past get divorced and then become poly. Others say that polyamory saves their marriages from divorce, and still others get divorced and stay together in a poly relationship. For some who try polyamory and have negative experiences, it can lead to divorce.

The Future of (Non and Serial) Monogamy

Monogamy is not what it used to be. No longer the unquestioned social norm, monogamy takes a range of forms from dating and more serious serial monogamy to cheating, polyamory, swinging, and monogamish relationships. What are the long-term social implications of this trend?

How Slippery Is the Slope From Gay Marriage to Polyamory?

Politically and socially, same-sex marriage (or marriage equality) has become increasingly common as the Defense of Marriage Act crumbles and same-sex unions are legally recognized in a growing number of states. So how will this impact society? Will we really slide down the slippery slope to polygamy, and then on to marriage with cats and bicycles?

Is Polyamory a Form of Sex Addiction?

Is polyamory a form of sex addiction? What is sex addiction anyway, and does it just mean that you are having more sex than the person who is diagnosing you? This blog looks at polyamorous relationships to see if they are symptoms of sex addiction.

Religious Attitudes Towards Polyamory

From some conservative Christian sects with a sex-negative view to Tantra that celebrates sexuality and intimacy, religions have a range of attitudes towards polyamory. This blog looks at Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Unitarian Universalism, Paganism, and Sacred Sexualities, examining religious tenets shaping attitudes towards polyamory.

The Five Most Common Legal Issues Facing Polyamorists

This blog summarizes the five most common legal issues that face polyamorists and some other sexual and gender minorities, including custody of children, moral clauses in employment contracts, adultery/bigamy, housing, and the importance of location. I end with a note on how polys' race and class privileges help to buffer them from some of the negative legal impact.

Sexually Transmitted Infections in Polyamorous Relationships

With the increased risk of sexually transmitted infections that come with multiple partners, how do polyamorists protect themselves and their loved ones from transmission? Very carefully, using testing and talking, protection and creativity in what kinds of sex they have, and fluid bonding. Research indicates that these techniques end up yielding good results.

Jealousy and Compersion with Multiple Partners

Polyamorists often face jealousy and use several strategies to deal with it, such as freaking out and trying to control others, discussing it and facing the underlying fear or insecurity, or feeling compersion—happiness at a lover's happiness with someone else. Some polys say they don't feel jealousy, either because they didn't learn it or they aren't "wired" for it.

Diversity and Polyamory

In one way, polys are just one of many elements of increasing social diversity. They have quite diverse relationships, but the population of polyamorists is not particularly diverse. This blog examines the three levels of poly diversity -- social, relational, and the striking racial and class homogeneity.

(Im)Morality and Polyamory

Even though polyamory does not provide children with a conventional moral framework, it offers a well-developed set of ethical guidelines to direct actions and steer behavior.

Does Polyamory Work?

Only a minority of people choose polyamory—it is not even the most popular form of consensual non-monogamy because swinging is far better known and more widely practiced. Does the rarity of polyamory mean that it is unworkable? For some it is a terrible choice, but for others polyamory can work quite well depending on who is in the relationship and how they handle it.

Fear of the Polyamorous Possibility

When people come to realize that it is an option to have openly conducted, multiple-partner relationships they have grasped what I call the polyamorous possibility. Generally people have one of three different reactions, and this blogpost details those reactions and the reasons behind them.

Polyamorous Families, Stigma, and Families of Origin

Poly families experience stigma from the outside world, and often have to deal with the impacts in their family lives as well. This post explains the range of ways in which families of origin can react to their members who are in polyamorous relationships, and how those reactions can affect the children growing up in polyamorous families.

Children, Stigma, and Polyamorous Families

How do children who grow up in polyamorous families manage that information at school, with peers, and with peers' parents? This blog post explores the common strategies and outcomes poly kids deal with in relationship to stigma and discrimination based in their unconventional families.

Solo Polyamory, Singleish, Single & Poly

Solo polyamorists can be drawn to autonomy or repelled from the constriction of romance - either way they generally build lives around other things/people besides primary romantic/sexual partnerships. This blog looks at solo poly's relationships with lovers, friends, and chosen/biolegal family members, as well as the stigma they experience as a result of couple privilege.

When Partners Leave Polyamorous Families With Children

People leave—it is an inescapable part of life. In poly families this can translate to parents' partners leaving when things don't work out for the adults romantically. While this can be painful for some kids, parents use strategies to minimize the impact on their kids so it is not as problematic as it might appear to be at first.

The Status of Children in Polyamorous Families

How are children in polyamorous families doing? How do polyamorous families affect children? This blog lists three main reasons why the children who participated in a study of polyamorous families are generally in great shape.

Emotional Intimacy in Polyamorous Relationships

Are polyamorous relationships a path to emotional intimacy and self-growth, or are they just a flight from maturity and an excuse to have sex with a lot of people?

Have Your Jake and Edith Too: Bisexual Polyamorists

Why are female bisexuals often more valued in mainstream polyamorous communities than their bisexual male counterparts? What kinds of relationships do poly people establish with bisexuality?

What Polyamory IS, and What It Is NOT

What is polyamory, and how does it differ from other forms of non-monogamy like cheating, swinging, and polygamy? This post defines polyamory and contrasts it with other non-monogamies, as well as describing some of the characteristics of polyamorous people.