What should you do after discovering that your partner has had an affair? And what should you not do? Couples therapist Myrna Reisman-Moreno, LMHC, today’s guest blogger, provides practical advice to make dealing with the pain a little easier:
You discover your partner had an affair. Panic, confusion, mental and physical pain put you in a dark place. Advice floods in from family and friends, books, and the Internet. Your life divides—Before the Affair and After the Affair. No matter how much your unfaithful partner voices his or her regret, you remain unsatisfied and your mistrust lingers.
Finding out that the person you loved and trusted has had sex, or even an emotional relationship with another person—whether briefly or for many years—causes you to feel like the earth has opened up and swallowed you. I have learned a few things from working as a couples therapist and running women’s infidelity support groups that seem to help people in this situation.
Here are nine ways to begin to deal with infidelity:
Even with these guidelines, dealing with infidelity can be excruciating. Try to focus on understanding where your best interests lie. There are times when partners can overcome an affair and make their relationship work as well, or better, than ever. There are also many times when such a result is just not possible. No matter how you view your situation, exercise compassion toward yourself—not self-pity—as you consider your options.
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