Addictive Families: Part 5

In order for children to trust, they must feel safe. They need to be able to depend on their parents for friendly help, concern and guidance in response to their physical and emotional needs.

Addictive Families Part 4

Children do whatever they possibly can to bring stability and consistency into their lives. They will behave in any manner if it makes it easier for them to cope and survive.

Addictive Families: Part 3

In many families, the rule of silence is a quiet collusion. Many children feel they are betraying their parents and their family if they talk honestly.

Addictive Families Part 2

It is about this time, when a young person reaches the mid-twenties that the effects of growing up in an addictive home become apparent. These now adult children begin to experience a sense of loneliness, that doesn’t make sense to them. They become aware of feelings, that separate them from others and often may find themselves depressed.

Addictive Families

a young boy who is learning how not to openly talk about what is happening in his life that is so painful, how to shut down his feelings and how not to trust others

Intimate Treason

One woman's life is painful not just because of what she has discovered about her boyfriend’s sexual acting out, but due to her own behavior.

Intimate Treason

To be in a relationship with your perceptions invalidated, your feelings not listened to, and honesty and respect thrown out the window are just some of the many ways that partners are traumatized.

Addictive Disorders

At times of trauma, the natural response is to run. With situational traumas, we picture people running toward home or family. The question is, “Where do you go when the trauma is in your home?”

Camp Mariposa

Camp Mariposa for children affected by addiction in the family

Your Life's Baggage Part 1: What are you carrying?

Think about the baggage you take with you on your life journey - what are you carrying? Do you need to consider repacking your bags?

Biology of Caring

The brain is wired to react empathetically to someone in pain in order to warn others of danger and elicit help.

Under the Influence: Kids of Alcoholics

It's a good feeling to know you can rely on your mom or dad - someone who's in control when things start to feel out of control. But some kids don't know that feeling. The reason: They have a parent who's not in control. And that parent is not in control because he or she is an alcoholic.

Difficult Family Relationships: Staying Connected with Limitations

How do you re-enter the arena of family relationships and be true to who you are and what you believe? 

Present Day Relationships

 You have choices about who you invite into your life and how you interact. 

The Power of Secrets

 By admitting the reality of what is, you deflate the power of secrets.

The Emotional Injury of Distorted Boundaries

 We must understand that our abandonment experiences and boundary violations were in no way indictment of our innate goodness and value.

Understanding the Pain of Abandonment

Abandonment experiences and boundary violations are in no way indictments of a child's innate goodness and value. Instead, they reveal the flawed thinking, false beliefs, and impaired behaviors of those who hurt them.

Lois Wilson Story - Hallmark Hall of Fame Presentation

The Lois Wilson Story - When Love Is Not Enough

Deceived: Denial and Minimizing

 Denying, minimizing, and rationalizing are the most natural responses to living with someone acting out an addictive disorder.

Deceived: Denial & Rationalizing

Denial induces numbness. Now couple your need for denial with the fact that sex addicts are masters of misdirection.

Deceived: Denial In the Face of Truth

Partners deny in an attempt to hang on to what is really an illusion, the fantasy that all is really okay.  

Children of Addiction

Children living with addiction in their family need to know that the addiction and the resulting behavior is not their fault.

Parenting Under the Influence

 Ways that drug and alcohol abuse affect children

Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies and Secrets

No matter their ‘drug’ of choice, men and women who act out sexually leave their partners reeling in fear, rage, incredible shame, and isolation.  

Christmas Message from 1944

This is a time not just for giving but also graciously receiving. Keep realistic expectations and let go of the shoulds.

The Triggering Effect Part 6: Slippery People, Places, or Situations

Know your triggers and make a plan accordingly. In the face of a trigger, what do you need to do?