Let’s Play: How the Science of the Brain Is Changing Therapy

I recently attended a conference at UCLA entitled: Play, Creativity, Mindfulness and Neuroscience in Psychotherapy. The conference offered an approach that has been gaining increasing importance, namely that: “Throughout the lifespan, play supports neurological growth and development while building complex, skilled, flexible, responsive and socially adept brains."

On Being A Burden

Today the focus is on the long-term effects of a child internalizing the belief that he or she is a burden – and how it can then feed into a pattern of being an Outsider in adulthood. It can be helpful to check a dictionary for the exact meaning of a word like burden, to see if the word has special significance for an understanding of a specific problem in your life.

The Either/Or of Family Dynamics

The dictionary definitions of a tug-of-war: “as a game meaning two teams tug on opposite ends of a rope each trying to pull the other across a dividing line and as a struggle for supremacy.” Both definitions are played out between two warring parents, usually using a particular child as “the rope”– who then gets caught in a dilemma of “You’re either for me or against me."

Therapy Thru the Magnifying Glass of Sherlock Holmes

Part One opened with: “Psychotherapy is not unlike forensic science in uncovering the clues that have not allowed you to live your potential—which is a crime.” Today’s blog is focused on a “crime of a dissolving marriage” and how, using the tools and principles of forensic science as explained in Part One, the "detective" (therapist) is "You," the reader.

Therapy Thru the Magnifying Glass of Sherlock Holmes

CSI, as any television viewer knows, is a popular form of a crime show based on forensic science. Psychotherapy is not unlike forensic science in that its focus is on uncovering the clues that have not allowed you to live your potential, which is a crime.

Lasting Effects of a Goodness-or Poorness-of-Fit

Here some questions that are important to ask yourself. Have you had ongoing difficulties and tensions with one or both of your parents, going back to early childhood? Do you wonder why your brother (or sister) always seemed to be the favorite child – at your expense? Do you find that you relate more comfortably to one of your own children and feel bad about that?

This Is Who and What They Are!

The motives of the individuals who consistently take advantage of another can be tied to personality, and their belief to entitlement. But why does the individual being taken advantage of continue to not recognize the consistent negative pattern of the other. We begin with how the beliefs and experiences of childhood continue to influence and direct our lives as adults.

Living in a Psychological Theme Park - Part One

Imagine that you’re walking down the street when suddenly a stranger approaches you, points a gun and robs you. According to the standard definition of a victim – “a person who suffers a destructive or injurious action” – you have become a victim. Hopefully, you recover from the trauma; deal with any physical and/or emotional problems connected to the experience and get on

"All Men Are Brutes"

Most readers would read the title and object to the bias expressed. They would also object if I wrote: “All women are intrusive”—or “All gays are flamboyant”—or any number of statements that would classify all members of a particular group in negative terms. And their objections would be legitimate.

There's A Lion In The Bank

The television ad shows a mother and young daughter sitting near a lion’s den in a zoo. The mother aims her camera at a check as she explains that the check will now go to the bank. Just then a lion walks out of his den and mother aims her camera at the animal. What one sees on the screen is a lion walking down an aisle in the bank, approaching two tellers. “No, Mommy,

Gaining the Power to Change Your Interactions

The quality of both our positive and negative interactions rests in our being able to understand and acknowledge the true reality that exists between others and ourselves– a reality that is found in what I call the “the space-between”.

Finding Hope and Renewal in the Face of Tragedy

In the spirit of hope – of healing – of renewal – and of embracing those struggling with loss, I would like to share what I wrote of my own struggle to survive the loss of one of my sons in a mass killing a number of years ago. I originally posted this blog two years ago, after the killings in Tucson, Arizona. It felt appropriate to share it again now.

On Being the Outsider

Learn what you can do to break free from the long reach of your childhood and how it's affected your ability to feel a sense of belonging.

Getting Trapped in the Words of the Past - Part Th

The answer to the above question often lies in how one defines the word need. Is “need” the same as “want” – or the same as “needy” – or the same, in a more extreme definition, as “narcissistic.”