Sexual Assault Stories Can Traumatize the Public

Sexual assault stories in the media can traumatize the public, a plea for mindful reporting.
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Will I Be Good Enough for the Holidays?

Eight tips for dealing with criticism from narcissistic families.

The Long-Term Effects of a Childhood of Neglect

What if your parents were just not that into you? The lifelong effects of childhood neglect.

How Does a Narcissist Think?

Here is how narcissistic behavior is dangerous and harmful to others.

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents and Mother’s Day

How do adult children of narcissistic parents celebrate Mother’s Day? Here are 10 tips to help with emotional triggers and avoid an emotional collapse.
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Are You Having a Difficult Holiday Week?

Here are five ways to keep your sanity this season.
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8 Tips to Protect Yourself from a Narcissist

Eight tips to protect yourself from a critical and judgmental narcissist.
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How a Narcissist Can Derail You

Narcissism can derail families, relationships, work environments, and social and political institutions.
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The Destructive Force of Narcissistic Injury

Narcissists suffer from vulnerable self-esteem and narcissistic injury.

Embrace Recovery on Mother’s Day

Help for adult children of narcissistic parents in search of peace.

Five Qualities to Encourage in Your Kids

Believing in yourself is an important aspect of the development of leadership.

Why We Need to Know What Narcissism Really Means

Is there someone you know who is extremely self-absorbed? This seems to be the common understanding of narcissism. But, it’s not defining the real problem with narcissism.

Sibling Incest in the News

Having worked in the child sexual abuse field for 30 some years, I am continually struck with a sense of sadness when yet another family comes forward with admissions of sibling sexual abuse. Rather than judgment it is important to be aware of treatment and healing options. Jumping to quick labeling without understanding the help needed is dangerous.

Mother's Day for Those Raised by Narcissistic Parents

Mother’s Day is approaching. Is it time to run and hide or stumble into a Hallmark store to desperately search for that empty card that says nothing upon which you simply sign your name? How sad, awful, taboo, and misunderstood this is for adult children raised by narcissistic parents. Who woulda thunk it?

One Phrase We Should All Stop Saying to Kids Today

What’s wrong with saying the phrase “What Is Wrong with You?” to children or adolescents? Nothing, if your tone is compassionate and you are wondering if they want to share their feelings with you. But that is different from what we hear far too often when a parent is exasperated with a child, throwing up their hands in desperation, and asking this question.

Is Your Partner a Narcissist? Here Are 50 Ways to Tell

The label narcissist is used loosely these days, typically to indicate someone who is vain and selfish, but the personality disorder and the traits of narcissism run much deeper.

Do You Feel Not Good Enough?

Have you wondered where your internalized message of “I’m not good enough,” comes from? Do you feel you give life your best, work hard, try hard, but still can’t give yourself credit? Are you constantly beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should be more, do more, be better, and you don't measure up in your own mind?

Post-Romantic Stress

With Valentine's Day here, the topic of love is hot stuff. Will you be my Valentine? Will we love 'til death do us part? Is unconditional love even possible in romantic relationships? Did I learn how to love in my childhood?
Do Holiday Expectations Cause You Angst? 12 Ways to Help

Do Holiday Expectations Cause You Angst? 12 Ways to Help

Expectations can get us in trouble during the holiday season. Why is it that we somehow still hang onto the vision that we can suddenly transform the family into what we want during the holidays and all those old wounds, stories, and disappointments will shrink away when the bells start ringing and Santa’s sleigh starts flying?
Where Was Daddy?

Where Was Daddy?

The family with a narcissistic mother operates according to an unspoken set of rules. Children learn to live with those rules, but they never stop being confused and pained by them, for these rules block children’s emotional access to their parents. They are basically invisible—not heard, seen, and nurtured.

Can You Tell When a Friend Is No Good for You?

I recently got an email from a lovely woman saying she feels she repeats the dynamic she had with her narcissistic mother in her choice of friends. She says she befriends narcissistic women, who then, like her mother, end up rejecting her. Is this you?

Mothers Who Are Jealous of Their Daughters

When I was writing the book Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, I found that I heard certain kinds of painful stories over and over again, like themes in a piece of music. One theme was that of mothers being jealous of their daughters.

Narcissists Are Not Accountable

Lack of accountability is a pet peeve for sure, and also a common problem with narcissists. Although there are many disturbing factors in the personality of a narcissist, this one is tough to deal with in any relationship. It’s hard to understand. What is so difficult about owning up to mistakes when we’re wrong?

Plant Both Feet In Relationships!

Do you struggle with trust or commitment? “I can’t seem to commit in relationships.” “I choose people who don’t commit.” “I start out fine, but something happens and I opt out.” “I find someone I’m interested in and poof they’re gone.”
When Mothers Day Hurts

When Mothers Day Hurts

Nobody wants to be a "Debbie Downer" on Mothers Day. Its a blessed and sacred institution and should be. It is certainly one of the most beautiful things about being a woman. To awaken on Mother's Day and cherish the memories of parenting is a day to behold. But, there is another side that is rarely discussed and leaves many women in a state of pain.

From Sandy Hook, to Boston, to The Jody Arias Trial

Are we all suffering now from PTSD? Post traumatic stress disorder is best understood as a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. It can be caused by life threatening events as well as emotionally destructive events that seem to cause extreme symptoms.

Are You Worried You Might Be A Narcissistic Parent?

What is the cornerstone of maternal or paternal narcissism? Do you worry you might be a narcissistic parent? Most of us with children hold the value that we would never consciously do anything to harm our children. When we do, even if unwitting, we carry guilt and heavy remorse.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

Adult children of narcissistic parents commonly grow up with this nagging feeling that they flunked childhood and it’s all their fault. They internalize the message they are not good enough no matter how hard they try.

Is Self-Care Selfish?

Remember the old cliché? “Take care of yourself first or you will have nothing left to give others.” Or, “ we can’t give what we don’t have.” But what is self-care really? Why is it so difficult and why do we feel guilty about doing it?

The Sandy Hook Tragedy: A Family Therapist Perspective

This season, we gather together with friends and family, and cannot help but feel deeply touched by the tragedy of December 14th in Newtown, Connecticut. As a nation and around the world it is an understatement to say that we are overcome with deep sorrow, disbelief, shock, and horror. We are all asking…why? How could this happen? What can be done?

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