How Negativity Can Poison Your Relationships

Not “interviewing for pain” seems to me to be excellent advice for dealing with children–and also adults.

Secret of Adulthood: Lose Yourself to Find Yourself.

Sometimes we have to lose our way in order to find our way.

How Does a Rebel Change Habits?

I love it when people tell me about their ingenious ways of working with their Tendency, in order to change their habits.

Something Becomes Important Because We’re Paying Attention

It’s our listening that makes a conversation important; it’s our vision that makes a masterpiece; it’s our love that makes a face stand out from the crowd.

Are Souls Like Athletes...

The seven storey mountain is the mountain of Purgatory that must be climbed to reach Paradise.

Want to Change a Habit?

I truly do believe that it’s possible for us to change our habits—even when we’ve failed before.

I Had a Very Odd Experience at the Gym

For a moment, I was someone different. Not very different, but different nevertheless.

Are You Unnecessarily Severe with Yourself and Your Habits?

Although I have so many strategies and ideas that I’ve identified to help people master their habits, to my surprise, I frequently find myself making the case against changing a habit.

Like Gollum, Do You Have Something Precious?

Here’s the tie to habits: I’ve noticed that many people have a habit that makes them unhappy—one that they know drains them, isn’t good for them, or causes them grief.

Do You Know Your “Tell?”

Self-knowledge is one of the greatest challenges for happiness and good habits.

To Be Creative, What Are the Best Habits to Follow?

When we shape our habits to suit our own nature, our own interests, and our own values, we set ourselves up for success.

One Surprising Secret to Changing Yourself for the Better

Because accountability is so important, I’m always looking for new, ingenious ways that people have created accountability.

A Happy Habit: Celebrating Valentine’s Breakfast

For minor holidays, these days, I prepare a “holiday breakfast.”

Which of These 4 Stories Do You Tell Yourself About Money?

The article notes that these “scripts” often run through our heads outside our conscious awareness of them.

Do You Feel a Pull Toward Work or a Pull Toward Leisure?

Intellectually, I embrace leisure, but still, I hear that “work, work, work” whisper in my brain.

Before & After:Obliger Figures Out How To Exercise Regularly

Occasionally, I post an interesting before-and-after story submitted by a reader about how he or she successfully changed a habit. I love to hear people’s stories about habit change.

The Perfect Office Design

Most of us can’t change much about the design of our offices, but these elements at least furnish a few ideas.

Do You Ever Yield to a Temptation...

We tell ourselves that we’re acting out of consideration for others and making generous, unselfish decisions. Or, more strategically, we decide we must do something in order to fit in to a social situation.

Quiz Yourself: What Kind of Play Do You Enjoy?

For a happy life, it’s not enough to have an absence of bad feelings — we also need sources of good feelings.

Did the Quiz Help You Determine Your Tendency?

I’m very gratified that so many thousands of people have taken the quiz — and even more gratified by the notes at the end. The comments are fascinating.

Do You Wish You Spent Less Time Watching “Potato-Chip News?

When trying to stick to a good habit, many people are challenged by the dangerous allure of “potato-chip news.”

5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

Have you found any strategies that have helped you be a better listener?

Like Jung and Wharton...

It sounds so easy to know yourself — after all, you hang out with yourself all day! But it’s very, very challenging. We’re so distracted by how we wish we were, or by what think we ought to be, or by what other people expect from us…we lose touch with what’s actually true.

Trying to Keep a Resolution?

When we try to form and keep habits, we often search for loopholes, for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can perhaps reject them.

Going to Make a New Year’s Resolution? Consider These 5 Tips

If my happiness and habits research has convinced me of anything, it has convinced me that resolutions – made right – can make a huge difference in boosting happiness.

Fighting Holiday Food Temptation? Try These 13 Tips

The holidays are supposed to be a festive time, but many people feel anxiety and regret around food and drink—the holiday season is so full of temptation.

Consider This New Yorker Cover

As the cover shows, simplicity lovers and abundance lovers thrive in different environments. For instance, a simplicity lover is likely to work better in an office that’s quiet, with minimal decoration; the abundance lover in an office that’s lively and crammed with visual details.

Questions for Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels

It’s very important to know ourselves, but self-knowledge is challenging. If you want to know yourself, it’s key to know where you fit into the Four Tendencies, that describe how people tend to respond to expectations.

Six Things I Learned

Here’s what I learned about myself.