QUESTION

Hi Irene,

My friend is constantly asking me questions and I have no idea what her motive is. She asked me what meds I take, what my doctor’s name is, etc. She will ask me when I did something, what day, what time, was I by myself, what was I wearing? UGH!

Signed, Maura

ANSWER

Hi Maura,

There are many reasons why someone might ask too many questions: For example, the person might be very anxious and need to keep up conversation. Or…the person may not have the social etiquette to know when questions begin to feel invasive rather than signaling genuine interest.

The person also may feel like she has a more intimate relationship with you than you do with her.

Regardless of why your friend acts this way, I can understand how uncomfortable it might make you feel. It sounds like she’s asking questions that you don’t feel like answering.

I suspect a problem like this may be tough to resolve. If you want to maintain the friendship, you can have a talk with your friend and let her know that she asks too many personal questions, to the extent that you often feel uncomfortable when you’re together.

If she can’t remedy her ways, you may have to see her less often and/or be more assertive about telling her you don’t want to talk about things that you would rather keep private.

Hope this helps.

Best, Irene

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