More Actual Headlines

(from Columbia Journalism Review)

ALBANY TURNS TO GARBAGE

PASTOR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION

CHILD’S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN GARDEN

FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

DEAD EXPECTED TO RISE

CHESTER MORRILL, 92, WAS FED SECRETARY

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

POLICE BRUTALITY POSTPONED

BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLANDS

TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES

SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED

From actual resumes as reported by Fortune magazine:

  • Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
  • Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
  • My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
  • Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping." I have never quit a job.


(For a discussion of what prompted the Smile a Day column, see an earlier post)

Click here for my book (one of O: The Oprah Magazine's 10 Titles to Pick Up in May; with Foreword by New York Times columnist David Brooks): The House on Crash Corner and Other Unavoidable Calamities—about the sad, hilarious and meaningful ways we deal with the crises in our lives. 

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