Men, Women & Children (& Technology)

On October 14th, I had the pleasure of participating on a panel with other fellow PT contributors and director Jason Reitman and actress Elena Kampouris of the upcoming Men, Women, & Children. The panel discussion followed a screening of the film, which weaves multiple storylines into a coherent narrative with the often secret online lives of the characters being one of the many threads that bind the stories together. The discussion that followed the film triggered a number of intriguing questions that I wanted to share with readers.

A number of reviews have referred to this film as “timely,” as one reviewer elaborates on the ubiquity of technology in the film when he writes:

“In fact, the internet is everywhere in this film. There are references to #thinspiration, Porn Hub, and YouTube. We see people using all kinds of apps, from Letterpress to Tinder. One couple plays Words with Friends with one another in bed. Facebook is often discussed and up on screen. And everyone is staring at their phones pretty much nonstop — even when they're talking to each other.” (Kastrenakes, 2014, para 3)

Indeed, this film is perhaps one of the most authentic portrayals of the role technology plays in our daily lives. It captures from the mundane to the extreme, the ways that our digital world serves to distract, exhilarate, immerse, and challenge us. In the extreme, the internet serves as either conduit to, or actual focal point of, addiction (e.g. pornography). For instance, in the case of the exquisite Kampouris’ depiction of an anorexic teen, her character scrolls through message boards on pro-anorexia sites as a means of maintaining her extreme caloric restrictions.

Technology itself is neutral—it is what the technology is used for that ultimately determines its merit. Moreover, the burden of how and for what purpose the technology serves the individual falls largely on the user, not the producers of these digital gadgets or developers of the online portals that we seek. The film does a great job in leaving the perspective of what about technology it reveals to the audience. As a digital skeptic, I was particularly drawn to the darker sides of where technology takes some of the characters, as well as the ubiquity of how it penetrated every character’s life in some way, whether for better or worse.

Indeed, 92% of Americans have a digital birth by the time they are 2 years old, a number that is higher than in any other nation across the globe, and that encapsulates how pervasive the digital landscape is, particularly for younger generations. Our digital footprints are emerging rapidly, and with that comes a change in consciousness, how we see ourselves, how we see ourselves in relation to others, and of course, how we connect (or disconnect) with those around us.

The perversity of the internet is that we often seek connection by using it, but this can lead to disconnection with our immediate surroundings, and/or with the people we are with in real life (or, as it was referred to in the film by one of the high school students, “RL”). I was particularly drawn to one scene in the movie where a mother and daughter are walking side by side in the mall, but both of them are looking down at their phones, the daughter sexting with one of her classmates while the mother sips her Starbucks drink and scrolls through her own phone, oblivious. The two are together in real space, but other than proximity, there is little connection between them. The scene was particularly poignant for me because I find myself struggling with this disconnect in the “RL” as well—as someone without a smartphone, I am usually the one wanting to connect with other people in real space, while they are distracted by or scrolling through their virtual one on their screens.

I encourage readers to seek out the film, which will be in wider release this weekend, to reflect for themselves what role the internet is playing in their own lives and that of their loved ones. Reitman’s gift is to trigger this kind of dialogue about our relationship to technology with such a timely piece, how the rest of the culture responds remains to be seen.

Kastrenakes, J. (2014, October 10). ‘Men, Women, & Children’ review: a movie that gets the internet right. The Verge. Retrieved on 10/15/2014 from: http://www.theverge.com/2014/10/10/6957883/men-women-children-review

Copyright Azadeh Aalai 2014