The Benefits of a Trauma-Sensitive Approach to Healing Shame

I have created a compassion cure program for former victims of trauma that includes: self-understanding, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-kindness, and self-encouragement. This article focuses on the first of these five components of self-compassion.

When Did “Victim” Become a Bad Word?

Our culture discourages people from acknowledging and/or talking about a victim's suffering. Many people feel embarrassed when they feel bad.. It’s as if they’ve done something wrong—as if their personality or their character has failed them in some way. It’s no wonder that many victims believe that to acknowledge their pain and suffering is to “feel sorry for themselves.”

Perfectionism?

Can you avoid making mistakes or can you avoid your inner critic?

Healing the Shame of Childhood Abuse Through Self-Compassion

Shame can be the most damaging effect of child abuse--compassion is its anecdote.

Domestic Violence and Child Abuse in the NFL

Many people feel that those who become abusive need "anger management," but I believe they need "shame management."

How Compassion Can Heal Shame from Childhood

What were your most shaming moments from childhood?

The Expectation that Women Be Compassionate

The question was asked whether women in other countries are also "empathy sick."

Are Women Too Compassionate for Their Own Good?

Most people consider females to be more compassionate than males. But is this always a good thing? Females are hard-wired to be compassionate and patient and to value connection over confrontation. This is partly because we are biologically programmed to be caretakers. Nature has an investment in women being unselfish when it comes to their children-otherwise, children would be left to their own devices and would starve or go unprotected and be killed. Add to this the fact that women are socialized from early childhood to put other people first and to sacrifice for the people they care about, and we find that it is not uncommon for women to put other people's feelings and needs ahead of their own. But unfortunately, often women are too compassionate for their own good.  

Quieting Your Inner Critic Through Self-Compassion

Are you being controlled by your inner critic?

What Is Compassion and How Can It Improve My Life?

The definition of compassion is the ability to understand the emotional state of another person or oneself.

To Forgive or Not Forgive: That is the Question

"I get so tired of people saying that you should forgive. What if you can't? Does that make you less of a person?" As a psychotherapist with over 30 years experience I hear comments like this all the time.